Long-term relationships can be great but, as with anything that we do repeatedly, it can be difficult to keep finding new and exciting things to include in your love life that help you retain the same enthusiasm you had at the start of your relationship. This is a quick-fire list of things you can try out to recapture some of that passion from the early days when you couldn’t even keep your hands off each other.
1) First-date night
Date night is a classic amongst couples, ensuring one night a week where your sole focus is on maintaining and celebrating your relationship. However, instead of just getting that same meal, feeling bloated and then going to bed because you have to be up early, try pretending you’re on your first date all over again. What would you talk about? What would you ask them? What would you want them to know about you? The knock-on effect to your love life can then be pretending that this is your first time with your partner, and so you’ll have to put in all that effort into pleasing them that you did the actual first time round.
2) Fantasy and role-playing
If pretending you’re on your first date seems too public or cringe-y, you could try adding some imagination to your love life in the safety of your own bedroom. Role-playing can be great because it can totally transform your sex into something totally different with very little effort and cost. It can also allow you to have honest conversations with your partner about what you and they are into, meaning you can have more rewarding, more satisfying sex.
Food is a classic way to improve love life, especially as you don’t necessarily have to use it during sex for it to be enjoyable. Aphrodisiacs such as oysters or chocolate could help fire up your libido beforehand, or even watching your partner eat something sensually such as strawberries could be a massive turn-on. You can definitely include food during sex too, licking or eating things off one another, or even using cliché products such as edible panties. For actual food-play during sex, it’s important to always remember that, if things are going places (ahem) then they need to be coming back out when you finish.
The sex toy market has never been better. You can get pretty much anything and everything you want, whether that’s multicoloured nipple clamps or a butt plug in the shape of a horse’s tail. Including toys in your sex can be great fun, especially as it can help access new realms of pleasure that have yet to be explored. What’s also great about toys is that they can help encourage solo play and mutual solo-stimulation which, if it’s never been tried out, can be great fun. The only disadvantage is you’ll actually have to spend money on toys but, if you end up liking them, it will be a worthy investment.
Perhaps none of these suggestions are up your street. In that case, my final recommendation is using http://old.mojoupgrade.com/. This naughty little website presents you and your partner with questionnaires (to be taken separately) that ask you questions about what things you would do in your love life. It ranges from basic, vanilla moves like using food and taking photos right the way through to threesomes and BDSM. The best part about MojoUpgrade is that it will only show you the acts which you both indicated a desire to do. That means, if you desperately want to try a threesome you can click that box, safe in the knowledge that your partner won’t know this is your desire if that’s not what they want. It’s a win-win that you can only stand to gain from, cutting out the awkwardness of trying to ask for the filthy things you want to try and giving you a whole range of things to try out.