Have you ever heard the saying, you get what you give? So chances are – if you are on the dating scene- the more attention you give your date, the better your results. No matter how hard you try, your date will either like you or they won’t. So you may as well turn up and just be yourself. However, there are a few behaviours that guys could do that would turn any girl off. So if you’re in the market for a long term relationship, please avoid these dating faux-pas.
There is nothing worse than sitting at a table checking your phone to make sure you haven’t been stood up. Most women agree the worst way to begin a date is to arrive late. If the girl has managed to get herself ready and turn up on time, then so should you. If you know you are going to be a few minutes late because of something out of your control, let her know. Then once you eventually arrive, apologise. After all, if you turn up late, many women will think you are selfish and rude. It also sends the message that the woman you’re meeting is not important to you.
If you have plucked up the courage to ask a girl out, give her all of your attention when you arrive. After all, that is why you’re on a date in the first place. However, it seems many men forget this and can’t ignore their phone when it buzzes. If you’re constantly checking your social media accounts or replying to your friends, you’re being rude. It is also completely disruptive as it destroys the vibe of the date. Many people can’t concentrate on their phone and the people in front of them simultaneously. Therefore, your date shouldn’t have to fight for your interest and if you are constantly on your phone, you are not giving the conversation time to develop. Basically, leave the phone in your jacket pocket and let yourself fully immerse in the date.
3. Meet Mr. Brags-A-Lot
Now, we’ve all been there, where we think the best way to get someone to like us, is to talk ourselves up. By bragging about your salary, expensive travels or six pack, you are singlehandedly closing the door on a second date. Women like confidence, not cockiness. By bragging you actually make them less attracted to you. They would rather find out these things organically rather than being told. Many men think by talking positively about themselves it will impress the ladies, yet most women will begin to think they lack personality. By talking about your accomplishments, you don’t allow them to have actual input in the conversation. Therefore, it makes it less likely that they will want a second date with Mr. Brags- a- lot, as you have little chat.
4. Rude to Waiting Staff
Manners cost nothing, yet so many men forget this and are unintentionally rude to the people serving them. Malcolm Forbes famously stated, “You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” Therefore, if your date is being disrespectful to the waiting staff by not acknowledging them or being derogatory, you will be able to see their character. It’s a no brainer, if you act like that, many women will perceive you as disrespectful and no woman will want a second date with someone who treats others poorly.
5. Ex for a Reason
If your goal is to charm this girl into falling madly in love with you, then talking about your ex is probably the worst way to do so. This date may be the initial part of your future, but you are reminding her of your past. By talking about your ex, you’re suggesting that you’re probably not over her. No girl wants to be seen as second best, so it’s a sure fire way to send your date running in the opposite direction. It’s important that when you are on a first date you are genuine, interested and focussed upon the future. By talking about your ex, you are showing her you are neither of these. She won’t want to be yesterday’s news when your ex wants you back, so she’ll be turned off right away by all your ex chat.
6. A Little Less Conversation
Being a good dater means being skilled at the art of conversation. Which means talking about yourself enough yet still listening to what she has to say. If you go on a date and don’t let them get a word in edgeways, they’ve pretty much just turned up for you to rant about yourself. Dating is a two-way street, where you are both trying to learn about each other. So if you don’t ask her questions and talk the whole time, she’ll learn tons about you yet she will still be a mystery to you. This is a poor way to date as she’ll feel like she isn’t important enough for you to ask about her. Even worse than not asking any questions is asking one then interrupting her. It’s the height of rudeness as your basically stating that your answer is better than hers.
7. Getting Drunk
No -one likes a sloppy drunk, so why would a girl want to be on a date with one? We all get nervous on first dates but drinking too much only breeds further problems. By getting too intoxicated, you run the risk of lowering your inhibitions and offending your date. Furthermore, she will begin to wonder if you have social anxiety or a drinking problem, as you can’t control your intake. As we all know many people make no sense when they are drunk and you could end up not remembering your date at all. Not a turn on.
8. Being Cheap
The server bringing the bill over has to be the most awkward part of a first date. It sparks questions over who will end up paying. Whether the man pays or the couple goes Dutch and splits the check, there is an awkward tension until they resolve it. Although majorly outdated, a survey by match.com revealed 91% of women said they would like it if the man picked up the bill on a first date. Men have often been seen providers and many women would like them to fill this role. Many believe that if the man has asked the woman to accompany him on a date he should be willing to pay. By avoiding the bill or paying your half it comes across as cheap and vulgar. Therefore, if the man invites, he should pay.