Ever wonder what to talk about before your first date? We’re here to help! Don’t waste time on a date only to find out, 5 minutes in, it isn’t going to work out. Here’s our list of how to test compatibility before saying yes to that first night out!
Listen, nothing sounds more like a nightmare to me than going on a first date only to find out that my date is a MAGA supporter. I know certain women who would never date someone who was against abortion and vice versa. Whatever your political leanings are, odds are they’re pretty close to your heart. Unless you’re Kellyanne and George Conway, I doubt you’ll be able to have a strong relationship while being on completely opposite ends of the political spectrum (and I wouldn’t exactly consider those two a beacon of hope for healthy relationships). Find a way to gauge their political stance before your first date! You’ll be glad you did.
To some people, the amount their partner drinks might not be a big deal. If that’s the case, that’s cool, just ignore this one. But if excessive drinking feels too immature to you or you have a problem with it yourself, you’re probably not going to want to waste your time on a first date with someone who parties multiple times a week. Ask your date about their partying habits! Tell them about you. This is an area you definitely want to talk about before your first date.
I know a lot of people who find smoking to be a dealbreaker. Smoker or vaper? Put that on the table before your first date. Smoke something else recreationally? Lay that out too. If this is something you don’t talk about before your first date, you might get turned down halfway through because you smoked in front of them or vice versa.
Television is important to everyone now. Would you really want to date someone who didn’t want to binge-watch at least some of the same shows as you? Probably not. I know for me I’m always looking for someone who is as dorky as me! My friends already make fun of me enough for being such a nerd, I don’t need my significant other to make fun of me too! I want them to be the ones watching the same shows as me!
Maybe religion isn’t a priority to you, but for some it is. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be with a very spiritual person. Meanwhile, my best friend is extremely religious and only wants to date someone as spiritual as she is. Religion isn’t a big deal to everyone, but when it is a big deal to someone, it’s a big deal. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who is on the same page about God as you.
Must. Love. Pets. This is absolutely my biggest rule breaker. As the Spice Girls once said, if you wanna be my lover, you gotta love my dog. That’s how that song went, right? Before any date, I tell my potential boyfriend or girlfriend about my dog and how important she is to me. I can decide whether it’s worth pursuing a date with them based on their reaction. The same goes for if you have serious allergies or just downright dislike certain pets… nothing is worse than being deathly allergic to cats and finding out your partner has three of them! A bad allergic reaction can be avoided if pets and animals are a topic you talk about before your first date!
Don’t be that person who hides the fact that they have kids. Seriously, just don’t. I know not everyone wants to date someone who has a kid, but that’s kind of the point. That’s a huge thing to conceal from someone, and the longer you wait to tell your significant other, the worse the omission is. Just be honest about how many kids you have. Do you really want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want kids anyway? Lying about how many kids you have only led to heartbreak.
8. Mental Illness
Sometimes you just gotta rip the bandaid off and tell your potential date about your mental illness. I know this seems really intimate and way too personal to talk about before a first date, but I find it’s an easy way to weed out the weak. I’m on disability because of my PTSD and bipolar disorder, which means I don’t work a regular job because of it. Your job is something almost every date will ask about, so I find it better to get out ahead of the issue and let them know right away that I’m disabled. Plus, I always find it easier to divulge information about my mental health over the phone than I do face to face.
9. Embarrassing Things About Yourself
Do you play Dungeons & Dragons in your spare time and you’re a little embarrassed about it? Maybe you’re a part of Greek life and you’re not sure if your date will judge you for it (for the record, I don’t think anyone should be embarrassed about either of those, but people can suck). Whatever it is that you’re embarrassed about and think could potentially cause a rift in a relationship, I find it’s better to get it out in the open before any feelings develop. If your date can’t handle that you’re a sorority girl or that you love playing D&D in your spare time, are they even worth wasting your time?
10. Anything Easier To Say Over Text
It’s easier to talk over text. That’s just a fact. So why not text anything you know you’ll be too scared to tell your date face to face? It’s not a cop-out. It’s just how this generation communicates. I don’t find anything cowardly about texting something scary… as long as you’re not breaking up over text, I think anything is fair game.
Which of these will you make a point to talk about before your first date? Let us know in the comments below!
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
Sophomore at Southern New Hampshire University and a native-born Philly girl.