Whether you’ve been out of a relationship for a while or you’re just going through a breakup, sometimes it is helpful to have an idea of what you want your next relationship to look like. It can be hard to start over with someone new, but it’s important to know what you’re looking for and not settle for anything less than you deserve. You are worthy of love and here are some qualities that you should search for when going into your next relationship.
1. Someone who appreciates you for you.
In a relationship, it’s important to always be who you are and if the other person doesn’t love and appreciate that then they aren’t worth your time. You shouldn’t have to erase parts of yourself just to make someone else happy. Truthfully everyone has parts of themselves that they want to hide, but a relationship is all about vulnerability and loving every side to a person. You’re going to see all the hidden parts of the person your in a relationship with and if someone doesn’t love all of you even the not so good parts then it’s best to move on and find someone who does.
2. Someone who is honest and trustworthy.
It seems like honesty in a relationship should be a given, but sometimes it’s not. It can be hard to detect whether someone is honest at the beginning of the relationship, but if you already notice them lying about small things then the lies will start to pile up eventually and it will get worse. However, sometimes it’s best to trust your instincts and ask yourself, “Is this person worth my trust?”
3. Someone who is emotionally mature.
Emotional maturity means that person is ready and able to go through situations without having a strong, negative emotional reaction. This is super important in a relationship as there are going to be hard times that each of you goes through and if the person can’t handle it right off the bat, then there’s no way that they are actually ready to be in a relationship with someone. You need to find someone who is secure in themself and is not afraid to stick by your side no matter what.
4. Someone who is willing to make you a priority and spend time with you.
This doesn’t mean that you always have to be together; it just means that the other person will make an effort to spend time with you no matter how busy they are. Even if you both are so busy, your partner should be one of your main priorities and if you love someone you will make time for them. Don’t waste your time and energy on people who would rather be with anyone else but you. Everyone has lives and work, but a person that wants to spend time with you will. If they keep making excuses all the time, that’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
5. Someone who encourages you and pushes you to be the best version of yourself.
Relationships are all about bettering and supporting each other as individuals and as a couple. If you find someone who encourages you to do the things you love and supports you in it, hang on to them. You want to be with someone who challenges you to keep working hard on your goals! You should both want each other to succeed and grow.
6. Someone who is independent.
I believe that when you’re in a relationship, both people need to have their own separate identities. It shouldn’t mean that you just become one person and don’t exist without the other. In my last relationship, one thing I felt that I lost was my own independence. It felt like I always depended on him to be there for me and I thought I couldn’t live without him. You need to be your own person in a relationship. A relationship involves two people and maintaining your own independence will allow you to grow side by side. You need to love yourself first before you love anyone else.
7. Someone who can make you laugh and smile all the time.
I mean you should want to be with someone who constantly makes you happy when you’re around them. Having a sense of humor is important as it keeps the relationship fun and exciting. Finding someone who can cheer you up whenever you have a bad day is important and one necessary thing that you need to look for!
8. Someone you can easily talk to and communicate with.
Communication is key in any relationship. Obviously, there are going to be times where there are some miscommunications that occur, but for the most part, you both should be on the same wavelength and have good, open communication with each other. It’s so important to also feel comfortable talking to the other person even if it involves difficult topics.
9. Someone who respects you.
I can’t stress the importance of this. Respecting each other is crucial in a healthy relationship. They should have the respect to listen to what you want and don’t want, especially when it comes to physical affection. If you say that you want to take things to slow physically and they don’t listen, DROP THEM! Respect is a mutual thing and if your partner doesn’t respect you or vice versa, there are going to be lots of issues in your relationship as you keep moving forward. Respect yourself enough as well to be able to get out of a situation if you know the other person doesn’t respect you enough.
10. Someone who is passionate and goal-driven.
People that are passionate about the things they do are so much more attractive. Something about hearing someone’s face light up as they talk about their greatest passions in life is just so compelling and interesting. Look for someone who has goals of their own so that way you can both push each other to succeed!
I know sometimes it feels impossible to think you can find someone with all of the qualities you want, but I promise they are out there and it will happen one day. Most importantly find a person who makes you genuinely happy and feels good about yourself. Like I said, you deserve the best.
What are you going to look for in your next relationship? Let us know in the comments below!
Featured Image: https://pin.it/1mBMxMQ
Caitlyn is a third-year student at UCLA. She is majoring in English. She enjoys writing, and going to hot yoga classes and, of course, binge-watching Netflix. At UCLA, Caitlyn is a feature writer for HER Campus, part of the American Cancer Society club, and a member of Alpha Gamma Delta.