The time has come for you and your partner to be bombarded by this incessant question. Sometimes it arrives after you’ve been dating for a while but as you get older, the time table for when it will be blurted out gets blurred. In my experience, here are some methods to deal with “So when are you two getting married?”
1. Laugh It Off
Not only does the question often make things incredibly awkward but if you’re like me, that awkward laugh inevitably follows. That laugh which is similar to a cough and reminiscent of pulling out your collar to signal a yikes moment. There is also the option for you and your partner to just laugh it off outrageously. Make a real show out of laughing that way whoever is conducting this interview will just give up. Unless you are in that rare situation where you have decided when you’re getting married, laughing it off should be your first line of defense.
2. Make Up A Date
Sometimes people ask questions simply for the fact to see if you have an answer ready. Since you do not owe anyone any explanations, just throw out a random date! You have a variety of options like February 30th or April 4, 3031. If you’re lucky, the questioner will catch your drift and laugh at the absurdity. In those instances where you are not on the lucky side, this will keep your audience guessing while you and your significant other make the actual decisions together in private.
3. Don’t Add Pressure
This falls under the “what not to do” category when dealing with being asked when you two are getting married. Do not make the mistake of shrugging and casting your eyes towards your partner. You are already under a spotlight with the question being asks and this only adds pressure to your significant other. Getting married is something that both of you step into and putting all the attention on your other half does not mean it’s going to happen any faster.
4. Use It As An Ice Breaker
Maybe you’re in a predicament where you want to discuss marriage with your partner, but you haven’t had the courage to bring it up. When this question is brought up, you can use it as a conversation starter later. This is an important talk to have in a committed relationship and if you are new in love, you can assess how they feel about the topic. I do not recommend having this intimate conversation immediately after your Aunt’s friend asks this question at a family party, but it is something to keep in mind.
5. Bring It To A Halt
There are days when you don’t feel like dealing with pleasantries or putting on a facade. It becomes an incredible burden when this question is always brought up in the face of your relationship and on those days, simply respond with “I don’t know but thank you for asking.” Hopefully this will cause this question to no longer be a central point in conversation and your frustration will be made clear. Now it is completely up to you if you utter these words or your partner does, shake it up!
6. Flip The Script
Nothing works better than just changing the subject. If you and your partner are not ready to disclose such sensitive information, you aren’t obligated to! Your family or friends may be genuine in their approach but whether the decision has been made or not, they can wait. Whenever you and your partner decide to move forward with marriage, you decide how to present that wonderful information.
Sending you strength and courage to deal with inquiring minds. How do you deal when people ask if you’re getting married? Tell us in the comments!
Featured Image Source: https://www.gottman.com/blog/gottman-principles-dating-world/
Rebecca was born in Hayward, CA and still resides there today. She received her BA in English Creative Writing from San Francisco State University and is the first in her family to graduate from university. She is a Poetry student in the MFA program at Saint Mary’s College of California and is furthering her involvement in the literary community. In her spare time, she likes to lose her voice at Giants games, read Young Adult novels, make lists, and aims to cross become a writer off it.