Why We Need To Talk About The Bar Hookup Culture Today

The bar hookup culture is extremely popular nowadays. So, what exactly does this mean? Basically, “bar hookup culture” is when people engage in sexual activity, leaving any type of feelings or connections aside. Maybe you know this better as a one-night stand. Two people can get together without emotional connections and its totally normal, right? What are we supposed to make of these random hookups with complete strangers?

Physical Appearance

A huge aspect of the hookup culture is physical appearance. I mean let’s be honest, nobody is taking the time to really get to know each other when they’re at a loud and crowded bar. Chances are you’re going to approach someone, or they’ll approach you because they like what they see. Without any real conversation, you’ll be going back to their place without knowing their job, age, or sometimes, even they’re name. This trend can have huge impacts on one’s self-confidence. They think they look great, but they never hook up with anyone when they’re out. Is it because other people don’t find them attractive? In some cases, this can cause large amounts of anxiety and insecurities among men and women. If nobody wants to look past appearances and get to know the personality, this can cause very false ideas of what relationships should be.

No More Dates

Do dates still even exist? What happened to the days where a guy asks a girl to the movies, dinner or carnival before hooking up with her? In hopes of getting a kiss at the end of the night? Call me a hopeless romantic but I think dates are vital when finding a relationship. What if the guy you go home with is a complete scumbag? Even if a date goes horribly and he’s not the one for you, going out and experiencing an awkward sushi date or a quiet coffee date helps a person to find out what they want in a partner. Instead of a date, the hookup culture is looking at a man buying you drinks at the bar so you’ll go home with him. What are our kids going to think if the dating stage is completely swiped from romance?

Fewer Emotions

There was a time when a lot of people wanted to have romantic feelings for people they were sexually active with. I think every person growing up need to learn how to express themselves and the way they feel in a relationship. The hookup culture takes all the romantic feeling out of sex. Passionate, romantic sex is way better than sloppy drunk sex with a stranger, isn’t it? As a college student, I’ve noticed more than ever that people are scared to show feelings, scared to be in a relationship, and that’s why they turn to meaningless hookups with people they’ll probably never see again. I think deep conversations with the person you like are extremely important and in today’s world those are dwindling. By taking the emotions out, people find it way less stressful and complicated. But then what?

Dating Apps

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, we’ve all heard of them, and we’ve all probably tried them. Dating apps add to the hookup culture as they’re huge for one-night stands. That boy who “super-liked” you probably just wants to hook up with you and then ghost you right after. Most of the time, apps like Tinder are for people who are all about their physical connections – and rarely emotional ones. You can flirt all you want through emojis and texts, but you’re still missing out on the whole personal connection. If only people would put their phones down and engage with people around them. For all you know, the love of your life could be the cute waiter at your favorite lunch spot.

The Morning After

If you stay the night over, prepare for an awkward morning. Waking up you’ll (hopefully) remember where you are, but what’s next? Do you throw on your dress from last night and run for the hills while he’s still asleep? Do you wake him up and ask for a ride home? Do you try and get his number in hopes of seeing him again? There is so much unknown with the morning after a hookup, so just go with the flow. If he’s sleeping, tap him gently before leaving. If he’s awake try engaging in funny conversation or get to know each other more. Be careful though, some might think snuggling is “too clingy” with hookups, so don’t get too comfortable.

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Overthinking

Maybe you were really into the person, or you hope you never have to see them again. But, what if you do? What if you run into them on the street, do you say hi? What if they end up sitting next to you in class? Should you ask for their number? Should you bring up the hookup or act like it never happened? There is no right or wrong in these situations, but don’t make it awkward or uncomfortable. Know what’s acceptable, but also know what’s “too much.” But, also take a chance because you never know and should live life with a little risk. There’s so much to think about after a one-night stand, but make it easy and just don’t think. Go with the flow and what’s meant to happen- will happen. Maybe you’ll find how he’s just as weird as you are, and it’ll be a perfect fit.

Protection

When hooking up with a stranger, clearly you have no idea what they’ve done or who they’ve been with. Sexually transmitted diseases and infections have been on the high, with the last few years having the most reported cases to date. Using protection such as condoms is so important when hooking up with randoms to prevent the spread of these STD’s or STI’s. Don’t forget birth control methods are extremely effective in preventing unwanted pregnancies. Better to be safe than sorry ladies.