At the University of Manchester with over 40000 students from all over the world, of course there’s going to be all sorts people you come across, whether its that one guy in your lecture or that person you always see at the library. There are plenty of people you’ll always run into at the University of Manchester. Here are some types of people that you can bump into, whether you like them or loathe them.
1. The people who reserve computers at Ali G.
Probably one of the most frustrating type of people you’ll see. Those that think they can log into 5 other computers around them, for their friends that will show up 5 hours later; then only to go off for food. Then when they do come back, all they use is their own laptop, sorry I mean their MacBooks…
2. The people who think Ali G is a cinema.
The ones that kit out their desk with snacks for days, Starbucks, Sainsbury’s meal deals and a pillow. Watching a movie, the latest match or Netflix all day, with their lovely feet on the desks. (Oh and maybe 1 textbooks to pretend their working. If the large screen of Game of Thrones wasn’t a dead giveaway)
3. The people that show up to lectures that just play games on their laptops.
Ask these people what the lecturer has just said, and they’ll say “I’ve found a Pokestop”/”I just bought Sergio Aguero”. To the lecturer at the front, they must think ” wow these people are so good at making notes and doesn’t stop.”
4. The people that documents everything. (No, not the lecture notes).
Whether its Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or Yik Yak. They’ll make sure everyone knows what they’ve just witnessed. Snapping the traffic on the Curry Mile in the morning, Instragramming that Starbucks you’ve just bought with the name you didn’t know you had, then taking forever to choose that filter. Snapping that free pizza Dominos line. Yakking about that guy you just saw in the library, that somehow you think will magically find you on Yik Yak. Putting up a post complaining about the horrendous Magic Bus experience they’ve just had getting home. Or maybe the odd post about something you’re trying to “sell” on the Facebook Buy and Sell. “Is this still available?”
5. The people who wears flip flops and shorts to lectures when its raining.
These people seem to think they’re in Hawaii or something. All they’ll have is some flip flops and some swim shorts, well at least they’re waterproof. Then if they’re feeling it, oh maybe a hoody. You see these people walking around like its nothing, whilst you’re shivering in your big puffer jacket, gloves and umbrella. Sometimes you wonder what they were thinking as they left the house…
6. The people that think they own the road.
Lets be fair and take 2 perspectives on this. The cyclists that zoom pasts red lights and is about to knock over someone. The drivers that pull out in front of a cyclist. The people who stand on the cycle lanes purposely and those who walk across a cycle lane without looking. Okay, whilst all of us are not perfect, lets just try to be fair and share the road.
7. The people who dress as like their always playing sports or going to the gym.
Somehow these people everyday make it to the lecture in their Adidas track pants and tops with their Nike trainers. It makes you think if they own anything other than sports stuff. We all know we like to make ourselves feel fit by getting a gym membership, at the start of the year, but wearing leggings or track bottoms everyday is little too much? In fact these people probably, doesn’t do any sports and actually stay at home.
8. The people that try to make you to take their flyers.
Whether its the free Dominos bag that you cant escape from, at the start of the semester. The club promoters, who is about to knock someone out with their big sign. Handing out those Will Smith/Bieber cards. Maybe those paintball guys, who always seem to be always there. Or those petitions. Or those asking you if you want NME. Or those people who keep asking you if you’re in final year. Weaving around to get pass them, like on Total Wipeout
We’re just trying to get to where we need to go, we don’t need you to shove it in our faces. Unless its free stuff they’re giving away like Innocent Smoothies or Yik Yak socks, then that’s a different story.
9. The people you didn’t know that were in your class.
These people who say they’re going to make it to all the lectures this semester, this semester is the time to change, and aim for that 2:1. They turn up to the 1st lecture and hibernate away until the exams come around. Then you start to wonder, if you’ve ever seen these people before. You’ve never noticed them at the lectures or the seminars.
10. The people who get the first bus.
We, the students are made to indulge in the luxurious Magic Buses coming late every day when the driver decides he wants to stop, with people packed like sardines. Whilst we gaze out the window, as the bright lights of the First Bus passes by near empty, only attainable with the SystemOne pass or paying. We will never know how it must feel like to be on the other side.