Do you find yourself constantly obsessing over your ex? Sometimes after a break up it’s really hard to move on, and more often than not we develop bad habits. Perhaps you check your phone every two minutes hoping their name has come up on your screen. Or maybe, you constantly scroll through social media looking for proof that they haven’t quite managed to move on either. Well, here are some tips which will encourage you to stop obsessing, put down your phone and focus on your newfound freedom!
1. Delete Them Off Social Media
This is an absolute must. Many of us convince ourselves that we’ll be able to be friends with our exes in the long run, and that we just need some space to come to terms with the split. In reality, we would make it a lot easier for ourselves if we just accepted the end of the relationship and deleted our exes off social media. This way, we can’t upset ourselves by constantly checking to see what they’re getting up to, or wondering whether we should message them. You’re much less likely to waste time obsessing over your ex if you’re not constantly being reminded of them.
2. Get Rid Of Any Reminders.
Social media isn’t the only thing that stops us recovering from a break up – we often have some physical reminders too. Perhaps you have an old hoodie of theirs that you never gave back, or a photo of you both which they gave to you as a birthday present. Whatever they are, we’re only doing ourselves a favour if they’re not within sight. We can either get rid of them completely or, if we’re not quite ready yet, place them in a box at the bottom of our wardrobes. You don’t need the constant reminder that it’s over, and you certainly don’t need any more encouragement to keep obsessing over your ex.
3. Keep Yourself Busy
Anyone who’s ever had to get over a break up knows that it’s really not that simple. We often find our minds drifting to what-ifs, wondering what we could have done better and how on Earth we’re going to move on from someone who was once such a huge part of our lives. Sometimes this can feel impossible, and the only way we can distract our minds is by keeping busy. It helps to focus on spending time with the other loves of our lives, our family and friends, and to do things that we might not have been able to do whilst in a relationship. There’s too much fun to be had than to waste time obsessing over your ex!
4. Be Realistic
Sometimes after a relationship ends we think that we’ve lost ‘the one’. People try and reassure us by spouting cliches such as ‘there are plenty more fish in the sea’. Or they say ‘maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,’ and we’re all too quick to reply with, ‘but what if it was?’ We convince ourselves that we are never going to love again, but this really isn’t the truth. It’s certainly not easy, but we need to look back on our relationships objectively, focus not just on the negatives but the positives, and realise that there will be someone else for us one day. It really is just a matter of time.
These are just a few things you can try to help you stop obsessing over your ex! Have you been through a break up before? Do you have any top tips to share? Tell us your favourite ones below!
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I'm a University of Birmingham Undergraduate studying English and Creative Writing. I love music (I'm especially partial to a bit of Ed Sheeran), reading ('The Lovely Bones' is genius) and, obviously, writing! I hope you enjoy reading my articles.