It is quite natural to drift from people throughout the journey of life, as no two paths stay completely parallel to one another. Yet going through a damaged friendship can be distressing and very abrupt when it occurs. Let us not forget, these were once people who held a very special place and attachment within our lives, so to lose someone of that importance, you are very likely to want to repair it somehow, in respect of all the memories you once shared.
1. Rational behaviour and settled anger
The key to repairing damaged friendships is, most importantly, to try and remain rational throughout the process, as it only takes a few more words for the likelihood of damaging the relationship even further. They say a ‘moment lost in anger, can leave forever for the time to heal’ therefore within the moment, tensions will be running high and the best time to realise self mistakes and wrongs is through lengthy, meditative self-reflections.
2. Reaching out first is not a weakness, it’s courageous
Living life with regrets, its the worst thing that can happen. You do not want to live 20 years down the line and realise that, the person is no longer there anymore to say everything you held on to within your heart. We are never guaranteed to live to tomorrow, so every day should be fulfilling and as burden-free as possible. You have nothing to lose, but beautiful memories and time- the true life currency that will be the most valuable to you when looking over your life achievements. ‘What if’ are two words that can haunt you for the rest of your life. Don’t let your damaged friendship remain unsettled- fight for the years and moments you invested in someone. Have the courage to act on what you yearn for.
3. Own up to what you did
Taking the responsibility for your part in the damaged friendship is essential for healing and moving on from the volatile feelings between the two parties. Although it is difficult to have the courage to own up for the wrongs inflicted, think of the respect you will have gained for yourself and from the other person. Being raw, open and honest is highly underappreciated, however to that friend that you miss, if they value you in their life, it will be everything they wanted to hear. It will also initiate the first step of trust again within repairing your damaged friendship.
4. Write a letter or journal your thoughts
To make sure you say everything you have, deep within your conscious thoughts, establish those first raw feelings with open paper. The hardest part is always coming to terms of everything that happened. It is a good method of reflection. Visually seeing everything that you are feeling and your role within it all. Self-acceptance is a massive variable- for the part you had to play within the damaged friendship. Forgiving yourself for everything is the first step to healing. Be proud of facing your wrongs!
5. It will take time, Be patient
After getting over the first initial confrontation, you may be really enthusiastic to get everything back as it used to be, however you have to understand the dynamic of the friendship will change slightly. It is a new page and new beginnings. Once you discussed the past, you should never speak about it or bring it in crossfire again. Focus now on attaining new memories and re-establishing a connection. Slow and steady, to ensure trust can be established with ease and commitment. Be realistic, it isn’t a race at all.