I used to say your name in vain, think the worst without having actually met you. I used to blame you for everything that went wrong but it was us not you. We weren’t right for each other and we never were, you just highlighted that.
I always wondered what I’d say if I ever had the chance to meet you. At the start, I wouldn’t have had the words or known what to do, I’d have probably just walked away. I was bitter for so long, couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you together, but now I’ve moved on. I’ve grown up since then and know that things were bad before you became involved. I hope they aren’t the same for you.
I don’t blame you.
I used to. I’d see your name pop up and I’d hate you for it. But now I know what he’s like. Who knows what he was saying to you, how he was keeping you hooked. I don’t blame you anymore, you weren’t the reason things got bad. He would have hurt and manipulated me whether or not you were an option for him. You were just following your own emotions, clinging on to the relationship you missed. I may not agree with what you did but I can understand it to a certain extent. I can understand it now that I know what he’s really like.
I used to think it was your fault, but not anymore. I used you as an excuse to ignore the truth.
I was so angry at you. But at the end of the day, he finished it not you. We didn’t work but I hope you two do. He was selfish and manipulative. He’d mention your name to make me paranoid, he’d pretend he never answered your texts. He used you to hurt me. Now I see that you had nothing to do with it. I apologise for jumping to conclusions but you did play a part in it. You knew he had seemingly moved on but still persisted. I don’t know what he was saying to you, if he built your hopes up but you should’ve known better. But you didn’t create the cracks, you only proved that they were there.
You made me paranoid but never jealous.
I was never jealous of you. I know my self-worth. But your texts put me on edge, I was constantly worried and bent-over backwards to keep him happy in fear of him turning to you. I should’ve known better too. My effort was never returned and that was all him. You were just an excuse for it to end.
I hope he treats you better than he treated me. Don’t forget your own worth.
Looking back, I see that I was never treated right. I hope he changes that for you. I hope you know your own self-worth and don’t fall victim to the same lies that I did. I hope you play hell if he ever uses another girl’s name to get you to react. I hope you say and do everything that I couldn’t. I hope no girl does what you did to me, I hope you feel secure.
What I really want to say is: Thank You.
Without your input, I’d have stayed within a bad relationship. We were never right together, we were total opposites. I would’ve stayed with someone who didn’t care. I didn’t see the warning signs until you forced me to see them. I forgive you for what you did and wish you both the best. And thank you. I have found someone who makes me feel beautiful, who makes me feel wanted. Because he left, I found someone who returns the effort, someone who makes sure that I know they care. Because of you, I’m happier.