ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! College right? Yeah, that place. You love it, you hate it and it costs a whole lot of money. Like the world’s most expensive adult summer camp since that one movie where Kevin Hart’s nuked Hollywood (I think it was Couples Trip or something like that). And it’s filled with different types of roommates.
Roomie 1. The Normie
The “Normie” is just that, an extremely average college student. Probably from some small town in Whocaresville that got a scholarship that you didn’t even know existed. You guys would not call yourselves friends or enemies, you just keep it neutral and respect each others space. Usually this would be a dream come true, but since you two are in such a great area it becomes BORING. College is supposed to be the most unpredictable four years of your life and you will be darned if you spend the entire year doing everything the right way. You may try to reach out and hang with them but best case scenario you guys may have coffee one time and that’s about it. Major, major weak sauce.
Roomie 2: The Gemini
You read it in books and seen it and movies, well congrats because these people exist in real life too. The Gemini is the roomate that has two sides to themselves. This has nothing to do with bipolar disorder (but it could, dont hold me to that). The Gemini roomate can be super cool one day then super crazy the next day and you just wont know why. Their behavior just cant be scheduled between the personalities that they show since their always changing. But dont freak out because you can make things work simply by talking with them. If you become friends with one side then the other will have your back when you need them. No matter what side it may be, LOYALTY accepts all comers.
Roomie 3: The Slob
THE FREAKING SLOB MAN!!! I myself had to deal with this type of room mate a short time ago. I dont know why people think that messy is a sign of genius. Well, hold on yeah it is but that gives no one the right to not clean up after themselves AT ALL. The slob will NEVER clean no matter how much you try to talk to them about it. They dont care about life so why give a damn about a room their only gonna be living in for a few months. Food wrappers and crumbs EVERYWHERE with these guys. The best thing you can do with these types of roommates is to force a breakthrough is inform your R.A because once again you’ll be damned if you clean up after another adult for free!
Roomie 4: The Neat Freak
The polar opposite of the slob. A clean mate can go a long way but their is a such thing as over cleaning and some people just have it way too bad. Its okay to not like a messes, but to keep your room chrome shiny like that episode of Spongebob then your room mate may have terrible OCD. Try to communicate with them and get them to relax a bit, the R.A only want your room to be livable not real estate ready, its not like you can sell the thing.
Roomie 5: The Rich Kid
The one person that you feel got into the school you busted your butt through a written check. nine times outta ten, your probably right. Congratulations, meet your new rich room mate. Rich kids can go both ways (No, not that. At least not for this) some are spoiled and some are very spoiled. If you have a loaded room mate its probably because the parents wanted to take a little victory lap and teach their overdue little seed the pinnacles of responsibility. Rich room mates do whatever they want, literally. If they can pay the bill, they will do the damage. Now I’m not saying kiss their butts for bucks, but being cool with them wont hurt, you never know what kind of connections they might have (wink, wink)
Roomie 6: The Foreigner
Straight outta the outside of the United States to your university dorm room. Foreign types of roommates can be awesome if their English is good enough. Language barriers suck, and you don’t want to make them feel not welcomed, they came a long way. A lot of foreigners are shy and can be evasive but as a room mate it is kind of your job to show them around. You can make a friend in the process and learn a lot about a new culture.
Roomie 7: The Stoner
Mr/Mrs 4/20! You know Nate Doggs catchphrase “Smoke W@@d Everyday!”, yeah, thats their mantra. They usually don’t mean any harm but if you don’t smoke then they can be kind of annoying. To make it worse, pot is illegal on EVERY SINGLE COLLEGE CAMPUS! R.A’s know that its there and its their job to bust you with it, so if you don’t smoke then talk it out with your stoner mate. It would be great if they kept it out of the room because usually is you smoke it, you might sell it.
Roomie 8: The “Pro” Gamer
Mountain Dew, Doritos, Liquor and a Old Spice. If you see all of this on their side of the room then you got a intense gamer on your hands. Be prepared for the late, late nights of flashing lights and them cursing their brains out to their monitor. Gamers are barely at school to learn they are their to get recruited by other pro players and get wist away to gamer fame. Chances are it wont even happen. My best advice for these types of roommates is to fall asleep first before they get strapped in.
Roomie 9: The Dope Fiend
They do the HARD drugs. Best advice, get a new room. I’m sorry those types of roommates are dangerous and you don’t want ANY problems with those people.
Roomie 10: The Slut/ Thot
A sock on the door every once in a while, yeah that’s cool you know the drill, but a sock on the door EVERY night then you got yourself a full time “hoe” as one of the types of roommates. They basically eat, sleep, crap and bang till the break of dawn. The problem is that’s your room too and your promiscuous occupant will forget that if they are tearing it up every night. You have to stand your ground fast on these kind, because they are the types that get visitation privileges revoked for the rest of the semester. I’ve known some with no respect and will do someone on your bed if they didn’t like you. Take no chances, and show no mercy, protect your space.
Roomie 11: The Party Animal
The “Mac Miller” is what I call them, all they do is get plastered and party. Its like you never catch them studying or even with a backpack for that matter. They will invite you a lot and sometimes you just gotta go with them and make sure they don’t end up in the gutter, I mean people party and you are a person. When you start seeing signs of addictions that’s when you step up and help them. It could be nothing but everyone needs a friend.
Roomie 12: The New Best Friend
It’s like you’ve known them your whole life but never met them. This is the dream room mate! You guys just click and everything works out, you invite each other to hang in and outside of school and over time you become tighter than family. If you get this kind of room mate, KEEP THEM!