It’s time to do it. You’ve been thinking about this for a while. Face it, you are not happy in your relationship. No matter how much you want it to get better, it won’t. It’s time to break up.
1. Plan It Out
You have to figure out how you are going to break the news to them. Let me be clear, it is never okay to break up with someone over text, e-mail, or social media. That is the most disrespectful thing you can do. They deserve to have a face-to-face conversation because this is their heart we’re talking about. It might be the easiest, painless route to take for you, but it will be the most hurtful route for them.
2. Explain Why
You have to explain your reason why you want to break up, even if they knew a break up was coming. I know you don’t want to do this but they deserve an explanation. Think about it, if they were breaking up with you, wouldn’t you want an explanation?
3. Avoid Blame
At the end of the day, pointing fingers is not going to solve anything. If the other person detects even a hint of blame directed their way, it will just lead to an argument. This was not the goal. The goal was to seamlessly break up and go your separate ways. An argument will just lead to more hurt feelings for both parties. Has pointing fingers ever gotten anyone anywhere?
4. Remember and Share The Positives In The Relationship
I’m sure there were good times in your relationship. By now they are probably feeling so low. Remind them there were moments in your relationship that you will treasure forever. They might not be receptive to it because of the emotions they are feeling but after some time, they will think about this conversation and remember all the positive things you’ve said.
5. Be Prepared
There is going to be some tears. There might be some anger. Just like how you have emotions, so do they. You have to let them cry or yell, just as long as it is not abusive. You have to let them get it all out. It’s only fair. However, despite their emotions, you have to stick with your decision.
6. Don’t Lead Them On
Do not, I repeat, do not give them any false hope that there is a chance of you two getting back together. When it’s over, it’s over. Don’t say, “we just need time apart” or “I just need some space.” That will lead them to believe that after some time you guys can pick up where you left off. It isn’t fair to lead them on like that. What you both need is a clean break.
7. Don’t Contact Them to “Check On Them”
After breaking up, this is a really bad idea. I know you mean well and even if this is just an attempt to help your ego, please don’t do this. This does not help them at all. Each phone call, each text, it just reopens the wound that you left when you broke up with them. Think of it like this: when you broke up with them, it was like ripping off a really painful band-aid, every time you contact them you’re ripping off a band-aid over and over again. Remember what I’ve said before, exes can’t be friends. It’s called a break up for a reason, not break up but I’ll check in on you every so often.