First dates are inevitably awkward as you have to proceed through the small talk and uncomfortableness of getting to know someone. Despite the uneasiness of a first date, how do you know if that person is worth going out with again? Here are some important signs that you shouldn’t say “Yes” to a second date.
1. They only talked about themselves for the entire date.
A first date conversation should be a two-way streak; there shouldn’t just be one person rambling the entire time. With that being said, if the other person did not ask you one single question about yourself and just went on and on about their life, that’s a big red flag that you shouldn’t go out with that person ever again. If they just talk about themselves it makes them seem too self-involved and like they could care less about talking with you. They might as well be talking to themselves in the mirror.
2. You both want different things.
If he just wants a casual fling and you want a serious relationship, it’s most likely not going to work out. You shouldn’t waste your time going out with someone if you know they don’t want what you want. It’s common to think “Oh, I can change their mind”, but they most likely won’t because they already have their mind set on what they are looking for. Just keep searching for someone who is looking for what you are!
3. You didn’t feel attracted to them.
You shouldn’t base how you feel someone on how they look, but in a relationship, you should be attracted to the person you are with. On the first date, if you already don’t think they are attractive, that’s probably not going to change. You should feel some sexual attraction towards the person you’re with so don’t settle for someone you don’t find attractive!
4. They made you feel super uncomfortable.
Either they did or said something that made you feel uncomfortable being with them. The person you’re with should respect you and your boundaries! If they are already saying or doing things that you’re not cool with, then obviously don’t see them again. Of course, first dates are uncomfortable in general, but if the other person is making you feel even more on edge, you need to move on. This also applies to if they try to do something to you sexually that makes you feel uneasy.
5. They got in a full-on argument with you.
I’m not talking about casual teasing, but an actual fight. First dates should be fun and exciting as you get to know the other person. You both shouldn’t be getting in seriously heated conversations with each other. People are obviously going to disagree on certain topics like politics, religious beliefs, etc. but those shouldn’t result in a giant argument! Also, those sensitive topics should be avoided on the first date because the conversation should be light and issues such as politics tend to get people worked up. If someone started an argument with me on the first date, I would definitely be concerned and turned off by it.
6. They’re on their phone the entire time.
Unless you tell the other person that you have to answer a text message or call really quick and apologize for it, you shouldn’t be on your phone that much. It’s just common courtesy to put down your phone during a conversation, especially when that other person is trying to communicate with you. It’s so disrespectful to be sitting there on your phone the entire date as it makes a person seem disinterested. I get it, phones are distracting, but the other person should be your main focus. If you’re on your phone the whole time, you can definitely be sure that you won’t be hearing from your date again.
7. They keep talking about their ex.
It is a major red flag if your date keeps talking about their ex. Usually, people know to avoid talking about their ex’s on first-dates, but if they keep going on and on about what went wrong with their ex, how they messed up, etc., they maybe need to avoid dating in general and process what happened with their ex first. Dates are for getting to know the other person, not reliving past relationships.
8. They’re already talking about your wedding plans and your future together.
If it’s your first date and they are already confessing their undying love for you, that is a sign that you should run. It’s cute later on in a relationship when your partner talks about your future together, but on the first date, it’s a little too soon. How can you be planning our wedding Chad and not even know my last name?
9. The whole date is basically one long awkward silence.
A few awkward silences are normal on first dates, but if they are happening every other minute and you are the only one trying to lead the conversation, that’s where things get a little strange. It’s okay to be a quiet person, but not talking the entire date is a different story.
10. They keep complaining about their life.
It’s really unenjoyable to have a conversation with someone when they keep ranting and complaining about how tired they are, how much they hate their job or just life in general. Even if you are feeling tired or are sick of your job, maybe don’t go into that much detail on the first date. No one wants to keep hearing about you ranting about your financial issues for 2 hours.
Apart from these signs, if you just aren’t looking forward to seeing that person again, then it’s okay to say “no” to a second date. You have to go on several bad dates, before you eventually find someone that you see yourself with. Just keep a positive attitude and be true to yourself and what you’re searching for in a partner.
What are some reasons why you would turn down a second date with someone? Let us know in the comments below!
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Caitlyn is a third-year student at UCLA. She is majoring in English. She enjoys writing, and going to hot yoga classes and, of course, binge-watching Netflix. At UCLA, Caitlyn is a feature writer for HER Campus, part of the American Cancer Society club, and a member of Alpha Gamma Delta.