They say there’s really no way to know someone until you live with them. For college students, this couldn’t be any truer. You spend a surprising amount of time with your roommates, and unfortunately, those times aren’t always the happiest. Here are 7 roommate horror stories that are so bad, you’ll wish they were made up.
1. The Sleepy Sexile
“Once, I had a roommate who was hooking up with this lacrosse guy. She’d never hooked up with anyone in our room before, and one night at around 10 p.m. she asked to “use” the room. I had class at 10 the next morning, so I figured no big deal. Fast-forward four hours and she still hadn’t texted me that I could come back. I gave her another hour before I angrily stomped back to our room so I could sleep. I opened the door, ready to see who-knows-what, and there she was, dead asleep and alone. Turns out the guy had left at like 11:30 and she immediately passed out. We laugh about it now, but man I wanted to kill her.”
2. The First Night Disaster
“My first night of freshman orientation week, my roommate decided to go out to this rager. She said she’d try not to be too noisy when she came back and that she wouldn’t be out late. I’d been super sick that week and had decided to go to bed early. I woke up to her entering our room at 4 in the morning and crashing around. Keep in mind, at this point I’d barely known the girl 12 hours. I turned on a light to see what was happening, and she was just sort of blankly staring at the wall. I asked her if she was okay, but she was more or less unresponsive. She then moved to the bathroom and violently threw up for the next thirty minutes. Again, this was our very first night. I almost moved out that week (In retrospect, we’re still friends years later).”
3. The Emotional Wreck
“My freshman year roommate was a complete emotional wreck. She had had this fling with a guy the first couple months of college, but he quickly broke it off because he wasn’t over his ex. My roommate would then go on to cry about it for the next five months. He wasn’t even cute! I sort of get it because he was her first everything, but it was literally every single day. For like an hour a day. I tried to be a good roommate, but you can only take so much, ya know? One day I just told her get over it. I only feel minimally bad.”
4. The Toothbrush Incident
“Ok, in this situation, I’m actually the bad roommate. I was seeing this guy and he really hated my roommate. She was just really awkward and unsocial and whiny. I didn’t like her either, so we were always subtly moving things around to where she couldn’t find them. One day, she did something that made him super mad. Thinking back, I can’t even remember what it was, but he decided to get back at her in the worst way possible. He went into the bathroom and rubbed her toothbrush all over his naked butt. If I had known at the time, I would’ve stopped him; I didn’t know until after the fact. I felt horrible about it, but couldn’t think of a way to explain what happened, so I let her use the toothbrush. She still doesn’t know. In hindsight, she was a terrible person who caused a lot of hell, so maybe it was preemptive karma.”
5. The Exam Ruiner
“The night before my 8 a.m. bio final, my roommate decided to sexile me from our apartment. She had had sex with me in the room before (she thought I would sleep through it) so I guess I’m thankful she woke me up? I actually ended up moving out a couple of months later. She was the worst. In case you’re wondering, I passed the class.”
6. The Fire Hazard
“My sophomore year, I lived in an apartment with a really forgetful girl. It was never anything huge for the most part, just leaving on lights and stuff. Well one day, she’d cooked some food on the stove, and we’d left to go shopping. We came back a couple hours later to this awful smell. It turns out she’d forgotten to turn the stove off and the food was scorched onto the pan. I’m surprised the whole place didn’t catch on fire.”
7. The Boundaries Crosser
“My freshman year roommate had sex in my bed. I wish there was a better buildup to that story, but I didn’t exactly ask for the details. She wasn’t even going to tell me, either. She accidently let it slip a little ways down the road. The guy actually got me an apology present for it. I’m still friends with both of them, surprisingly.”
Have any roommate horror stories of your own? SHARE in the comments below!
Featured image source:
Miranda is a student at Chapman University and is a member of CA Omicron chapter of Pi Beta Phi.