Most of us like to think we know what a true friend is, and most of us may think it is obvious what a true friend should not be. Realistically, true friends can be very hard to find and sometimes you need to end a friendship. Friendships are similar to relationships, in that sometimes we are in an emotionally and mentally abusive friendship and we do not even realize it until we get out of it. We also like to see the good in people, and we try to not let our friend’s negative qualities define them as friends. It is easier to keep someone in your life than to get rid of them, but there are definitely certain types of “friends” that we must get rid of in order to live up to our full potential. Here are some signs that the people you may believe are your true friends are actually toxic for you.
1. You feel insecure around them
You should never feel insecure around your true friends. If they are your friends, they will accept and like you for who you are. You shouldn’t feel like you need to restrain or repress the traits that make up your personality around someone you consider to be a friend.
2. You Want To Trust Them With Your Business and Secrets, but you know you cannot
Trust is a huge factor in friendships; you need to be able to trust someone in order to consider them a friend. We all want to share our business with someone and let our feelings and emotions out, and we want to be able to know that who we share these things with will keep what we tell them sacred, unless we tell them otherwise. A “friend” who is sharing your business with other people, especially people you are not friends with, is betraying you, aka a huge indicator in a bad friend.
3. You feel inferior to them
You should never feel like you are below one of your friends. True friends are people who help you to realize your worth when you cannot see it for yourself. A true friend does not bring out your insecurities in order to make you feel like you are not as good as them. This is a great way of knowing when it’s time to end a friendship.
4. You do more for them than they do for you
Although it sounds completely obvious stating it this way, a friendship between two people involves a two-person contribution. If you are going out of your way to make someone’s life easier and/or better for them when they are not doing the same for you, then they are not a friend of yours.
5. They only show interest in you when they need something from you
Friends will be interested in hearing what is going on in your life, they know your interests and your dislikes, and they simply just care about you and your well-being. If a “friend” is only hitting you up when they need someone to get f****d up with that night or they just want a body to go out to lunch with so no one sees them eating alone, then they are not your friend. Get rid of people who only associate with you for their benefit.
These are some of the main red flags in determining who is truly a friend of yours and who is not. If someone you consider to be a friend is bringing more negativity to your life than positivity, let them go. It’s easier said than done, but in the end it will be worth it for your own sake.