There is nothing sexy about someone desperately vying for your attention. The fact is that you have to introduce an element of mystery to get someone’s attention. I mean, there is a reason you are not “supposed to” sleep with someone until the third date. All novelty can be lost when you are too forthcoming too fast. If you’re first dating someone, or if you just like them, you want to give them a chance to miss you and to want you. It should be obvious in today’s overly diagnosed ADHD society that people get bored, and they get bored fast. If you want to get someone’s attention without freaking them out, you have to play the game. It is all about self-control and patience, two things I, unfortunately, do not possess. So what’s the answer to how to get your crush’s attention without coming off as too desperate?
1. Radiate Positivity
Why would you want to spend more time with someone who is constantly a drag? People like to be happy. People like happy people. Spending time with someone who is always negative will bum you out. Don’t be a bummer. When you’re a glass half full person it shows. It means you can make the best out of a shitty situation. Marry someone who makes going to the grocery store fun.
2. Be Multifaceted
No one is going to be interested in a snooze fest. The more interesting you are the more people will gravitate towards you. Before you get the wrong idea, I don’t mean certain people are born more interesting than others. Anyone who participates in life, seizes the day and is excited and engaging can be interesting. Read books, explore new places, socialize, learn a new skill. I don’t care what it is, but engage in the world around you. It’s so cool to speak to someone who is passionate about something. It doesn’t even matter if your crush isn’t passionate about the same things, because that type of energy is infectious. Who knows, maybe you will intrigue them so much that they will have to know more about you.
3. Be Playful
Being too uptight is no doubt a turn-off. Being playful and able to laugh at yourself shows you have a sense of humor and you can roll with the punches. This does not mean losing your confidence, but rather be confident enough that you’re okay not being the best at everything. Life is too short and all that jazz. Also, laugh at their jokes, tease them if they’re lame, just let them know you’re paying attention.
4. Keep Eye Contact
No one likes talking to someone who isn’t looking them in the eyes. Not only does it make them feel unimportant, but it also makes it seem like you don’t give a shit what they’re saying. This is just a tip for life moving forward. Making eye contact communicates confidence, which is inherently sexy. In fact, when you’re trying to figure out how to get your crush’s attention, ALWAYS think confidence.
5. Spend Time Around Them
Don’t stalk them, but psychology proves that the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are to develop feelings. You don’t develop a real crush by merely seeing a person, it is a combination of their personality, their vibe and their looks.
6. Try-Hard Behavior To Avoid:
ABSOLUTELY NO: Double texting, stalking, cyberstalking, catfishing, being obsessive, being too available, laughing too loud at bad jokes, not having your own life, texting his friends, being a stage five clinger, saying you want to have his babies, or any combination from this list.
What’s your best advice for how to get your crush’s attention? Please share, in the comments!
Young "professional," Providence College grad, above average procrastinator, reality tv enthusiast, high profile contributing member of society.