Bleh. Relationships. Who has time for one? Who wants one? I just want to put on my cute outfit, go out with the girls, get white girl wasted and come home and go to sleep. Does this sound familiar? How about this… you go do your thing, you come home, get in bed, and realize you don’t want to go to sleep. You’re not that tired yet. So, you call that guy you’ve been chatting it up with in class about every week’s episode of Chicago P.D. Before you know it, you’re sleeping with him… almost every night. You my friend, have a friend with benefits. Sometimes it’s looked down upon, other times it’s envied. But, here are 5 perks of having a friend with benefits.
1. Judgement-free zone!
We’re not talking Planet Fitness here. We’re referring to the depths of the friends with benefits relationship where no effs are given (pun intended). All you both want is sex, right? And you’re already friends, so you’re obviously comfortable around each other. Sex with a FWB doesn’t come with strings for a reason. No strings in real life, and no strings in your sex life. You don’t have to worry about the potential of this person becoming your husband. Try whatever you feel like trying. Experiment your heart out, and let your freak flag fly.
2. Find out what you like and don’t like.
You know that freak flag mentioned above? Well, sometimes it needs to stay somewhat grounded – or bedded, whatever your preference. Having an FWB is a time for you to figure out your body. What you enjoy, and what you don’t. You thought you might’ve liked when he did, you know… but come to find out, you actually don’t. And it’s nothing to be embarrassed about because this is your time to just figure it all out.
3. Confidence booster
It’s not because you’re frequently doing the deed that you suddenly feel like “all that and a bag of chips,” but getting some action is a very big mood booster. It’s a scientific fact. Unless you’re using it to fill some sort of void in your life, sex can genuinely make you feel good on the inside and the outside. Both you and your FWB are giving each other a part of yourselves that bring pleasure in more than a few ways. Someone actually wants to “hang out” with you, then go grab something to eat or see a movie. And it’s not awkward when you see him around campus or get partnered up with in class. It’s no question that it feels good to be wanted, and that someone actually enjoys spending time with you.
You enjoy the sex part, and do not have to deal with the relationship part. You have no one to answer to, you never have to say, “Let me see what Paul’s doing first,” and you can go out with your girls, get as white girl wasted as you want, dance with whomever you want, and not have to feel guilty about it. And if you actually really do want to just go home and go to sleep, you can. You can also just take some time off. A “break” with a FWB, can actually mean a real break. There is no “Well, if we’re just going to take a break, let’s just break up.” It’s the best of both worlds.
This might be a shallow number on the list, but it’s true. Say you do find someone that you want to be in a relationship with. We’re talking the REAL thing. You will know what you want, what you don’t, what you expect and you know what the hell you’re actually doing. Granted, even if you didn’t, the one you’re going to be with should like you no matter what your experience level is. But, it does help.
As amazing all this sounds, there are some serious fine lines to make a friends with benefits relationship successful. There has to be clear rules at the beginning of the little adventure.
- As soon as someone catches feelings, stop immediately. The whole basis of the relationship is NO strings attached. Feelings are probably the biggest strings you can mix in. Ever see the movie, Friends with Benefits. It’s based off of MANY true stories.
- If you tend to be a jealous person, this probably isn’t the best idea. Jealousy is a natural feeling, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Some people tend to feel this a little more deeply than others. Remember you can do what you want, and so can the other person. It wouldn’t be fair, or mature to involve yourself in something you know you’re just not meant to be a part of.
- Know the difference between having a friend with benefits, and just plain old sleeping around.
Featured image source: weheartit.com
Alexandra Smith is majoring in Psychology, with a minor in Creative Writing. In her free time, she enjoys running, hanging out with family friends, and roaming the world with her camera in hand.