Your boyfriend is great. You guys have the storybook relationship you dreamed about since you were a little girl. Your parents love him, his parents love you and your friends are envious of your relationship. There is just one little hiccup…his friends. When you are dating someone, the people they call friends become part of your life too, no matter how you much dislike them. But you love your guy and you will do anything for him, even if it means putting up with his obnoxious friends. As much as you wish you could make a machine and construct the perfect group of friends for him – that is not possible. So, since you can’t really do much to change it, hopefully these tips will at least make dealing with his friends just a little bit easier.
1. Do Not tell him you hate his friends.
By saying that you hate his friends, an immediate wedge will form between you in your relationship. Just think of how you would feel if your guy told you he hates Jennie, who you have been friends with since you were 5. You would be devastated and it would probably lead to a fight. Now I am not saying lie and act like you love his friends, but as long as you act nice when you are around them, your guy will appreciate it.
2. Suggest group activities.
If he is pushing for you to hangout with him and the guys, but you would rather watch paint dry, try suggesting something (like bowling) that you can also invite your girls to. That way you are making your guy happy by hanging out with his friends, but you can also have your girls to fall back on and hangout with if his friends get to be too much.
3. Don’t force new friends on him.
No guy likes a girl to come into his life and change everything about him. If you come in and start pushing new friends on him, he might be hurt and end up pushing you out the door. Yes, introducing him to that guy in your History class he has a lot in common with is nice, but if they don’t become best bros then don’t sweat it. You might not like his friends but you need to respect the people he chooses to hangout with. Your boyfriend must be a great judge of character because he is dating you.
4. Don’t be rude.
If you do find yourself hanging out with him and his friends, don’t be the bitchy girlfriend and be rude. That will only give his friends a bad opinion of you which could eventually lead to them complaining to him about you. You might not like them and they might be weird, but they are still his friends and you have to respect that no matter how hard it might be.
5. Get to know them.
Sure, you might have seen his friend Jake at a party all over a girl that is NOT his girlfriend – but that does’t necessarily mean he’s a bad guy (do you really know the whole story?). If you actually take the time to get to know his friends, you might actually learn you share an interest or actually kind of like them. If you make an effort with his friends that will go a long way with your guy and even push him to put in an effort to get to know your friends too!
6. Decide if it’s worth it.
Of course your boyfriend is a great guy, but sometimes you have to decide if dealing with his friends are worth it. If you love your boyfriend and you have been going out for a long time and you see a future with him, then you might have to just play nice. However, if you are just dating this guy because you were pressured into dating, or it was good at first but now you would rather binge watch Netflix than hang out with him, then there is no reason to put up with his friends. Do not let his friends come between you and your boyfriend though. You should also not let his friends influence the kind of relationship you have. Your relationship is made up of you and your guy – not you, your guy and his friends Sean, Cody, Nick and Sam.
7. Don’t make him choose.
Do not be that girlfriend that tells her boyfriend that if he doesn’t find a new group of friends, you are through. No guy ever wants to have to choose between his friends and his girlfriend. It is not fair to him and it’s not fair to you, because you might end up losing out on a great guy. Giving him this ultimatum is not good for your relationship. You both need your friends and if you force him to give up his ,then he might expect you to give things up for him.
At the end of the day you are dating your guy and not his friends. Yes, you might have to deal with hanging out with them every once and awhile, but be glad your boyfriend has friends. They might be weird, testosterone-fueled guys, but if they are good to your guy and have his back, then what more can you ask.
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Sara Ruzevich is a senior sociology major and a member of Zeta Phi Kappa sorority. She is candy fanatic and hopeless romantic.