There are a million ways you could be ruining your relationship, but here are the five most common to be aware of. If your relationship is going to end, you want to make sure it’s not because of you. So be careful!
1. Constantly Competing
Constantly feeling the need to make things a competition—your intelligence, your looks, your popularity, your sense of humor—is actually a sign that you’re the one who is a. insecure about yourself in general and b. insecure in the relationship. If you’re spending your time one-upping your significant other rather than celebrating them, you are one hundred percent ruining your own relationship without even really knowing it.
There’s no need to compete– you should be proud of your significant other’s strengths and/or accomplishments, and they should be proud of yours too! If your partner’s success intimidates you, you’re probably going to do or say petty things that eventually ruin the relationship. Don’t stress. There’s room for two amazing, successful people in a relationship.
2. No Life Outside Of the Relationship
A mistake that way too many people make in a relationship is allowing it to consume, dictate, and take priority to the other aspects of their lives. Of course, it’s important to give the right amount of attention and priority to your relationship if you want to make it work, but having a boy/girlfriend is no reason to lose sight of who you are as a person outside of that relationship. If you’re spending less time with your other friends and family, putting less effort into school or work, or losing interest in things you used to love doing, you’re probably driving your partner further and further away and ruining your own relationship without even realizing it.
Remember: your significant other fell in love with the person you are as an individual. Don’t stop caring about all the things that made you special in the first place. Get back to the basics! Plus, it’ll only make you more attractive to your partner to have other things besides him/her going for you.
3. Suspicious Without Reason To B
No one wants to be in a relationship with a cop. If you’re constantly patrolling your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life (especially with little things that, at the end of the day, don’t really matter), they will end up resenting you for it, and it will ruin your relationship. Trust is a major part of every good relationship, both giving it and receiving it, and your relationship is bound to fall apart without it.
Seriously, paranoia isn’t pretty, and it’s definitely not the backbone of any healthy relationship. If you’re boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t doing anything to make you worry that they might be cheating on you, don’t snoop through their room or phone and find insignificant things to fight about. If you’re the jealous type, take a deep breath and relax before doing anything rash.
Remind yourself that jealousy and love are not the same things! AT ALL! Calm yourself down and don’t give into ruining your relationship without even realizing it.
4. No Interest In What Your Significant Other Likes
Even though people say things like “opposites attract,” the truth is, being too different from your significant other gets really old really fast. Frankly, it sucks being in a relationship with someone who isn’t enthusiastic about the same things you are, and it’s even worse when it feels like they’re not even trying to be! If you’re the one not putting in an effort to like or be interested in the same things your boyfriend/girlfriend likes, your relationship probably has an expiration date (and unfortunately, you are the one ruining your relationship without even realizing it).
No, this isn’t implying that you have to be the same person or do absolutely everything together, but it is suggesting that you show some care and excitement for whatever your partner’s shtick is, whether it’s music, anime, YouTube videos, football, painting, or reality TV, people like being around other people with similar interests. Don’t make this one of the five ways you’re ruining your relationship without even realizing it!
5. Don’t Spice Things Up
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating someone, there’s a difference between being comfortable with someone and being boring with someone. The difference means everything for maintaining a fun, healthy, and satisfying relationship. If you don’t take the time to bring some life, spontaneity, and energy to your relationship, your partner will begin to ask him/herself what they gain from it?
If the relationship’s not fun, what’s even the point? Make sure to remind your partner how special they are to you—spice things up! It can be anything: a thoughtful date, a different sex position, a love letter—anything to show your appreciation for that person. Otherwise, monotony is a sure way you’re ruining your relationship without even realizing it.