Marriage is hard, that is a fact that everyone will have to face at some point in their lives. For some, it happens quite early on in their lives and very quickly, the couple has to face the facts. After talking with several couples, who were all married young (and are all still married), I have rounded up the best marriage advice for young couples. Included in this is some of my own advice since my husband and I also got married young. Read on to find out 10 ways real couples made their young marriage work!
There’s a reason this is one of the oldest pieces of advice in the book and the most common piece of advice given by couples when asked. Lauren and CJ, who got married in 2010 have found that as time has gone on, it is really important to communicate free of distractions. “To have a deep, intimate marriage, you need to SPEAK to one another. Put down your phone and talk about anything and everything.” CJ said. With the increase in technology use, it is important to make an effort to set aside time undistracted to talk with your spouse. Don’t forget to talk about your hopes, dreams and goals alongside the important topics.
2. Laugh Together
Kelsey and Nick, who have been together for ten years have gotten through their marriage relying on communication and laughter. “It’s important to laugh about everything together,” says Kelsey. Whether it’s watching a comedy show, looking at memes or simply laughing at life, it’s important to keep your relationship full of laughter. This keeps your relationship light and the more you laugh together, the more comfortable you feel with one another. Besides, if you can’t laugh with your spouse, who can you laugh with?
3. Golden Rule
Jesse and Casey realize the importance of the golden rule. They show unconditional grace to one another and treat each other how they want to be treated. It’s important to show one another endless kindness even on bad days. Make sure to also show interest in their dreams and plans just how you want them to be interested in yours!
When you’re young and married, it can be really easy to want to do everything together especially when you first get married but it is important to remember that you are still young. Take time apart and do things separately, grow individually and it will benefit you in the long run. My husband and I frequently go on trips with friends, night outs and to concerts without the other person. Not only does it allow us to grow but we have a ton of great stories to share when we meet back up!
David and Leta got married in 1994 and after 26 years of marriage, they have found that it is crucial to admit when you are wrong and apologize. Leta said that “it is important to actually say the words and take action to make things better.” Never forget that after apologizing, you need to make an effort to improve on your behavior and move forward in a positive way so you and your spouse can grow from mistakes and not continue forward with them.
6. Be Selfless
Lauren and CJ hit a learning curve when they got married. Lauren explained that “marriage is hard. It’s hard to take two people who are born selfish by nature and living in a me-first world and then expect them to care about someone more than themselves.” After realizing that she had a taking personality while CJ was a giver, she had to learn to flip her mindset around and be more like her spouse. As CJ said, “you can’t be so set on what you want and what’s best for you that you’re willing to throw your marriage away or devalue your partner and their wishes to get what you want.”
David and Leta also contribute compromise to the success of their relationship. Along with being selfless, you also need to compromise on decisions, drawing from both person’s wants and finding a solution. To prevent a permanent giver/taker situation, always make sure to see a problem or decision from both sides and come to a conclusion that benefits both of you.
8. Intentional Time
Set this in place when you first get married so later on in life, if you have children, you don’t forget one another. While it may be difficult, you have to put your marriage before your children. “Your love for each other is why you’re together and eventually they’ll be grown and gone and you’ll still have your marriage for years to come. ” Clairey and Jeff, who have been married since they were fresh out of high school, now have four girls but still put one another first.
9. Unconditional Love
“Marriage is learning to love an imperfect person and loving them like they’re perfect. It’s learning to love their flaws.” says Truly who married Kaven in 2017. No matter if it is a good day, bad day or one in between, you have to be prepared to love your spouse no matter what. No one is perfect and it is important to go into your marriage knowing that. Love your spouse more than yourself and you will find marital bliss!
10. No I In Team
Alaina and Max find that the best way to make their marriage work is a team-work attitude. “It’s no longer him and me it’s ‘we’. We decided on each other so we’ve got to build this life together, with each other, as one!” It’s important to remember that once you are married, you have a built-in team-mate for life. Your spouse is there for you in good times and in bad times to cheer you on and you should do the same for your spouse! This is advice that my husband and I remind one another of every day. Our go-to moto is that “It’s you and me against the world!”
Are you married or about to get married? What do you think of this advice? Share below!
Emily Bell is a graduate of Central Michigan University with a degree in Journalism with a Public Relations concentration. She currently lives with her husband and dog on the coast in Florida.