Aw, the honeymoon phase. A time at the beginning of your relationship where you are both trying your hardest to impress one another and keep up that feeling of perfection and bliss. You both feel like you’re floating on a cloud and that there really isn’t anything your partner could do to make things any less perfect. But we all know that the honeymoon phase will eventually slip away as your relationship grows more serious. Leaving the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean that the completely happy bliss you feel together slips away forever and never comes back, it just means that you’ve acknowledged that there is a reality to face.
Leaving the honeymoon phase is actually something good because it means that you guys are in it for the long haul; even when you have to face the actual ups and downs of your relationship. If you aren’t quite sure you’re slowly leaving the honeymoon phase, read our list of ways of knowing that you’ve moved onto the next chapter of your relationship. You might even learn of some things you’ve both started doing that you didn’t notice at first. Here are 10 ways of knowing you’re no longer in the honeymoon phase.
1. Little things start to annoy you.
When you first started dating you probably thought that their little quirks were cute. As time goes on though, you’ve started to realize that some of them aren’t as cute as you originally thought. I dated a guy who always used to drag his feet when he walked and as our relationship progressed I realized that I hated the way he dragged his feet. It didn’t start to bother me until we were deeper into our relationship. Leaving the honeymoon phase means that you’ll start to notice little things about each other that actually annoy you. You no longer have to pretend that they’re cute and that’s fine because chances are they think some things about you are annoying too.
2. You’ve started nagging a little.
At the beginning of a relationship, you would never even consider nagging your partner about something. You would just do it to keep up the perfect image that you want them to believe is the real you. That will also start to go away as you start leaving the honeymoon phase. After a while, you’ll start “reminding them” to pick their clothes up off of the floor or that it’s their turn to go to the grocery store. The more comfortable you are in your relationship the more comfortable you’re going to get when it comes to nagging them a bit to do things. It’s fine. Just remember they’re doing it too when they ask if your old friend from college is really the best guy to be hanging out with.
3. You don’t worry about getting too dressed up anymore.
You know the routine when you first start dating: makeup, hair combed nicely, your best outfits, your coolest shoes, and accessories; never anything that would make them think that you own a pair of ratty sweatpants. But, leaving the honeymoon phase will change that. You’ll no longer be embarrassed if he saw you hanging in those ratty sweatpants, hair in a messy bun, and sitting on the couch eating peanut butter straight from a jar. You now know that he knows you can look like that and has accepted it. And you’ve accepted that he can look bummy, too. For me, this is the best part about leaving the honeymoon phase because it’s exhausting trying to look your best for him all the time.
4. You don’t need to spend all your free time together.
When it first starts you always want to be with the other person. Whenever there’s a free moment from work, school, or life they are the person you want to be hanging out with. It’s that whole “I miss you” thing after they leave you after spending a whole weekend with you. But leaving the honeymoon phase will most likely put a little bit of a dent in that. You’ll actually like your alone time and you’ll realize that the butterflies they used to give you every time you saw them are less and less. This doesn’t mean that you don’t still have the best time when you’re with them it just means that the quality of the time is more important than the quantity now. It’s more about spending 3 perfect hours with them doing the things you both like rather than 10 hours just being in each other’s presence.
5. You don’t have to pretend that you’re comfortable when you sleep spooning anymore.
I can’t be the only one who absolutely hates spooning with their partner right? Or sleeping in the same bed with them in general? Even at the beginning of the relationship, I’m usually not a spooner because let’s be honest, it’s not a comfortable way to sleep. We do it at the beginning because we feel that we have to be touching and hugging one another all the time. That’ll change as you start leaving the honeymoon phase. You’ll remember that sleeping comfortably in your bed while not touching anyone else is amazing. He’ll still be your boyfriend when you wake up so why sacrifice a good night’s sleep for spooning? Plus you know they hate when you fall asleep on their arm and they wake up and can’t feel it for hours. You’ll both appreciate the better sleep once you’ve left the honeymoon phase.
6. You’ll admit you don’t like some of the things you said you did at the beginning.
It’s common for us to pretend that we like things that we actually don’t when we learn that our new beau likes them. We do this because we want to spend as much time with them doing the things that they enjoy. I once went a numerous amount of hikes with a boyfriend when we first started dating and honestly, I hated every single one. I did because he liked them and when we officially established our relationship I admitted to him that I didn’t actually like our hikes. I drank coffee for that man, too and I also hate coffee. We do these things to impress our new partners but once we start leaving the honeymoon phase we won’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I actually don’t like that as much as I originally told you I did.” Knowing you can admit that stuff and them being okay with it is a good thing because it means your relationship can withstand those little exaggerations.
7. Funnily enough, you aren’t embarrassed by bodily functions anymore.
We’re all afraid to do it at first – fart in front of our partner. But can you really be with someone that thinks you don’t do it and that you can’t just freely fart in front of? No. Yes, it’s embarrassing at first because we’re trying to paint that perfect picture of ourselves but once you know you can let one rip in front of your partner without feeling embarrassed then you know you’re leaving the honeymoon phase and are on your way towards a more serious and solid place in your relationship. Knowing that you can fart in front of your partner and knowing that they’ll do it in front of you too means you’re at a pretty solid place.
8. You have a comfortable routine
Another sign that you’re leaving the honeymoon phase is when you stop trying really hard to plan extravagant and out-of-the-box date nights and fall into a routine when you spend time together. Instead, you start understanding that Friday nights are for hanging out on the couch and eating pizza while watching movies nights and that’s how it is now almost every week. Establishing a routine with one another is a clear sign that you’ve stepped into the next phase of your relationship. You’ve probably even developed your own few dorky traditions that you keep doing over and over again with each other. Another cool thing about leaving the honeymoon phase is this – knowing each other and your routine so well that it comes naturally and without having to put too much thought into it.
9. Arguments happen every once in a while.
When you first start dating there probably isn’t much for you to fight about so arguments were minimal. As you start leaving the honeymoon phase though, they’re going to start happening because now if one of you is pissed the other is going to know about it. Those annoying things you discovered about one another might prompt fights; the nagging will most likely do it too. The comfortability that you know feel with one another might lead to arguments, but thankfully you like each other enough to not let them spiral out of control. An argument is healthy every so often, you just got to worry when they become huge blowouts and start happening more often than not, but that’s a whole other article.
10. You’ve become comfortable around their friends and family.
It’s always extremely scary meeting your partner’s friends and family the first time. You want to make sure that they like you and that you are able to connect and hang out with them comfortably. No one wants to be the girlfriend the family or friends don’t like. Leaving the honeymoon phase means that you are no longer intimidated by seeing or hanging out with friends and family. Hopefully, you’ve done it quite a few times at this point, making it easier and easier to fit in each time. Here’s to no longer having to sit through awkward family dinners!