You wake up in the morning and roll over to find a body in the bed next to you. All the memories of your one night stand from the night before come flooding back. After one-night stand sex, many people confess that they feel guilty and regret their causal encounter. This is wrong. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty after a one night stand… Ever. Below is a list of reasons to help you to not feel guilty after one night stand sex:
1. Sex is natural. How do you think you appeared on earth?
I am sure you remember the birds and the bees talk growing up and the story of how you came to exist on earth. Even though evolution has happened, humans still have basic, animal instincts and sex is one of them that needs to be satisfied. So listen to your body’s needs and fulfil them – sex it is part of our human nature and always will be.
2. You are not alone.
As you can imagine, people don’t shout from rooftops and announce to the world after they have had a one night stand. Just because you might not hear about it every day, it doesn’t mean that one night stands aren’t happening. Someone is probably having one right now. One-night stands happen more often than you think, so do not feel like you are committing a crime or going against the norm by having one too. Wanting to have one night stand sex is completely normal so don’t knock it til you try it!
3. Be careful – wrap up so you don’t have to face up.
Contrary to what society (and our parents) might have led us to believe, sex is not just for having children. Sex is a source of enjoyment and something pleasurable. It doesn’t have to mean anything. As long as you are safe, for example you take contraceptive medication, or you use a condom, then there should be no repercussions from your one night stand and therefore no reason to feel guilty.
4. Use the opportunity to unleash your sexual fantasies and hidden desires.
In a relationship, people are often not as vocal or as open with their partner in the bedroom as they hope to be. Quite frankly, this results in a very vanilla kind of sex life. We all have cravings to do certain things and get a bit freaky in the bedroom but we often hold ourselves back. Use your one night stand as a way of trialling your hidden sexual fantasies and let your inhibitions go. There is no need to feel guilty for exploring your sexual desires and finding out what works for you. This is one of the greatest parts about one night stand sex!
5. You don’t have to see them again… unless you want to turn your one night stand into a more regular, casual relationship.
Yeah you might have to have that awkward ten minutes of pillow talk before you make your lucky escape, but in reality, one night stands are called ‘one night’ for a reason. So when you have your whole life ahead of you, why should you feel guilty about one night? In the grand scheme of things, one night really isn’t going to alter your life dramatically and if you’ve had fun, then what is the harm?
6. Set the tone beforehand. Lay down your intentions and desires.
Honesty is the best policy. Tell the other person beforehand exactly what you want to get out of the night and exactly what you like in the bedroom. Ask them the same and then get it on. Afterwards, also make it clear that no feelings were involved, it was purely sex and that you not interested in seeing them again (or if you do want to see them again). As long as you are both happy and consented to what went on before and after, then surely there is no reason to feel guilty right?
7. Do it with someone you trust, or do it with a complete stranger!
One night stands can often be the result of too much alcohol and a messy night out, this means that the person who you opt to end up in bed with might be a stranger. You shouldn’t feel guilty about this because they won’t have any prior expectations of you. This means there is no need for you to worry or to feel guilty about your performance in between the bed sheets. Similarly, if you have sex with someone you trust, someone you have known for a long while for example, then you should be completely comfortable around them and know that they won’t judge you on how you performed, or for having a one night stand in the first place. I am pretty sure they would have enjoyed it just as much as you!
Do you have any other tips on how to not feel guilty after one night stand sex? Tell us in the comment section below.
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My name is Nicole Brownfield and I am 20 years old. I am studying English Literature and going into my 3rd and final year of Queen Mary University, London in September. I am currently the Editor-In-chief of my University magazine 'CUB' and my dream is to pursue a career in journalism after I graduate. I love living in London and am obsessed with sourcing out food and drink places, as well as exploring the parts of London I have never been to before. My boyfriend and I have recently turned pescatarian and this symbolises my goal to constantly keep bettering myself and to stay healthy and disciplined. Every day I try and achieve something as I want to look back and be proud of the life I have lived, and to make my family proud too.