UW Madison is known to have some of the most beautiful, intelligent, and crazy students in the world. We’re constantly topping rankings whether they be inventing tools for Apple or how drunk we can get on Wednesday nights. And to me, we have the perfect campus to match. Madison is diverse AF when it comes to people and opportunities for a quickie or make out session, which makes us way up blessed.
Whether you’re an incoming freshman or a fifth year senior, new places to get down and dirty are a must. Plus, chances are that you learn something after this article, and isn’t that what overachievers do, constantly learn? So, I’ve pooled together personal research and suggestions from friends to find the top 10 places to hook-up on campus at UW Madison!
10. Picnic Point
This destination is perfect for the running FWB on campus. Why not jog over and then finish up the workout with some “cardio and flexibility”? There’s too many perfectly ideal places: the beach, a picnic table, or even the fire pit area depending on how adventurous you want to be. Picnic Point is enjoyed by everyone, so it only makes sense that you can make your mark in a special way.
9. The roof of Agriculture Hall
Chances are that part of the reason you choose UW is because you’re a skyline enthusiast. There are tons of great places to have a look around the city but Ag hall has one of the best as far as outlook and hook-up compatibility go. Although the atmosphere is a bit dirty, the roof has an old-school hook-up charm. If you’re seeing someone who you care about definitely think about sharing the view and maybe a brew while checking out the great city of Madison with or without clothes.
8. The bathrooms of Southeast Dorms
While you might be ashamed of this one the next morning, it’ll be fun when it happens. Southeast dorms are known for having the craziest freshman and that’s what makes Sellery and Witte so appealing for the wild students to hook up. Whether you’re a frosh living in res halls or a soph who got stuck in Liz Waters freshman year, meeting up in the stalls is classic. Disclaimer: Don’t take off your shoes/socks ever, at any point there’s guaranteed to be piss, blood, vomit or some spilled watermelon Burnett’s on the floor.
7. The turf of Camp Randall Stadium
This is your chance to show off your athleticism if you didn’t quite make walk-on’s for Badger football. Why not hut-hut-hike right on the center field “W”? The perfect opportunity to touchdown is right in the middle of the action, but it’ll probably be your first and last time having sex on turf. Bonus points if you sneak into the stadium and double bonus points if you engage in broad daylight.
6. The attic of a fraternity!
This is one of the sneakiest ways to explore the forbidden parts of any frat and definitely one for the bucket list. Don’t expect much though, it will probably look identical to the scary as shit attic from Sinister. The pitch black darkness and overwhelming musty smell will for sure get you feeling some type of way… What can I say, we all have to do a frat boy at least once.
5. Lakeshore Path
If for whatever reason you’re on the wrong side of campus with your FWB, you need to check out this trail. Part of the path is tidy and well paved, while the other is rough and full of gravel, it’s your choice where you fit in best ;). Seriously though, the path is very secluded and right next to the lake. What gets better than Netflix and chill with a beautiful view of the forest and live waves crashing against the rocks? It might be the most relaxed sex you’ve ever had.
4. The elevator of Humanities!
You’re in between classes and crunched for time but your gf just sent an eggplant and peach emoji? Don’t take it to Fresh, instead H-U-M-A-N-I-T-I-E-S quickie. IDFK who really has class in here because it’s always empty which makes this an ideal spot for stalling the elevator for a few floors. If you play your cards right, you can both finish before someone even figures out how to get to the elevator in the mess of a floor plan the building is. Just make sure you don’t accidentally hit the emergency button in the midst.
3. On Lake Mendota when its frozen!
This one is time sensitive but HIGHLY recommended. Being able to physically walk on water is majestic enough at UW Madison, but adding some pleasure makes it over the top. You can walk for miles in any which way, but I recommend staying in spots you know are frozen solid or else the sound of cracking ice and fear of falling through might ruin the vibes (personal anecdote here). If you bring Sorels and your puffiest winter coat it will be a moment you will never forget. Mittens down the best way to have sex in our lengthy Wisco winter.
2. Bascom Hill
Napping, snacking, and playing sports are a rite of passage on Bascom, so hooking up should be too. Having sex outdoors on one of our signature campus locations is a big YES on your bucket list. Bascom is grassy and soft perfect for a meet up with your boo, unless trying something new by the academic hall is more your thing. You will probably spend a great deal of time walking up or sitting down on Bascom in your time at UW Madison, so you might as well mix work and play.
1. The Memorial Library stacks!
Finally, the one that everyone has been waiting for: The Memorial Library bookshelves. Yes, it’s true that the stacks are not only an urban legend but a great way for you and your tutor to earn the grades. Despite what they seem, they offer decent privacy. If you’re afraid of being caught you will probably chicken out anyway. Before anyone graduates from UW they must complete the final portion of their DARS report by getting freaky among some scholarly articles and cold metal shelving. Do your thing, but make sure the librarian doesn’t catch you!