Many people enter into a college relationship thinking that this will be the person they will end up with. But as with any relationship whether you’re in college or not, it will have it’s ups and downs and you never know how it will end. Regardless, here are some tips on how to help make college relationships last, while also allowing you to have a fulfilling college experience.
1. Don’t force a relationship
If it’s not there, then it’s not there. Don’t stay stuck in a relationship you don’t want to be in, and don’t start a relationship if you don’t want one or don’t like the person. Just because you hooked up doesn’t mean it needs to turn into anything else. And don’t rush into a relationship just because all your friends are in one or just because you want one. Before you start anything, make sure it’s what you really want, or else it will just be trouble.
2. Go on dates
Too often college students in a relationship forgo dates to simply hang out in their college dorm room. This will lead to severe boredom, and eventually you get tired of doing the same old thing, and you break up. You’re still in college, go out and do things. Don’t be a married couple when you’re only 19.
3. Be independent from each other
Make time for your other friends and have activities that you like to do separate from your significant other. You may want to spend all your time together, but in the end it won’t turn out well. If you neglect your friends, and then you break up, you may find that you don’t have any more friends. And again, if you do everything together, you will most likely end up getting tired of each other very quickly. One of the best things you can do in any relationship is to make time for yourself.
4. Don’t “move in together”
You’re in college, which means less parental rules and more sleepovers, time together, etc. But don’t move in with each other, do chores together, etc. Especially if you go to a small school you’re bound to run into each other a lot and see each other places, but feel free to go to the laundromat alone sometimes. It’s a great way to get some homework done. Avoid having the relationship move too quickly just because it can. Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to spend every night together. Eat some meals with friends.
5. Don’t intend to “fix” someone
If you go into a relationship trying to fix someone else’s problems, it will never end well. If you want to fix someone before you even start dating them, odds are it’s not going to work out. It’s pretty hard to change someone just because you want it.
6. Avoid mind games
If someone is playing mind games with you, run away fast. And if you feel the need to constantly make your significant other feel jealous, it’s time you leave the relationship. Constantly playing games with each other is not healthy, and probably means that there are deeper problems in your relationship. Either work them out by being super honest with each other, or move on.
7. Avoid comparisons
Most likely, you and your significant other will have had other boyfriends and girlfriends before, and sometimes they’ll come up in conversation. That’s normal. But if you’re constantly talking about your ex, you’ll end up making your significant other feel pretty badly about themselves or just annoyed. Imagine how you would feel.
8. Be careful with evolving friendships
If you have that guy friend you feel really comfortable around, be wary of making it more. Sometimes it works out, but sometimes it doesn’t. Relationships shouldn’t just be based on comfort, and if you and your friend eventually break up, you’ve not only lost a boyfriend, but one of your really good friends. Before you let it evolve, make sure that it will be a good relationship.
When you’re in a relationship, especially a new one, it can be easy to let your other responsibilities slide. But guess what, you still have schoolwork to do. Don’t let your grades suffer just because you want to spend one more hour watching Netflix. You’ll regret it later, at the end of the semester when you realized how bad your grades are. Get to bed at reasonable times, eat well, and do your homework. You’ll be glad later that you took the time to do this, even if it means sacrificing some alone time with your significant other.
10. Be open and honest
Lies will build up over time, and only cause problems. It’s important to be open and honest right from the beginning. If there’s something bothering you, keeping it a secret isn’t going to help anyone. By putting all you problems on the table right away, you’ll better be able to see if this relationship will work out. If you’re not comfortable being honest with this person, or if they don’t take your issues seriously, then this probably isn’t the right person for you.
11. Make sure your self-worth is independent of the relationship
Don’t let your happiness depend on one person. You are worth more than just the person you are dating, and definitely don’t let them tell you otherwise. You have way more to offer than just being the girlfriend or boyfriend or someone, and never forget it. If you can’t respect yourself, others won’t either.
12. Manage expectations
This is a big one. In college, you’re going to be busy, and sometimes you or your significant other will have to cancel plans. You’ll also probably be pretty close to broke. Don’t have these high expectation of a prince charming who will buy you whatever you want and will always be there to spend time when you have it planned, because it will most likely not work out like that. By making sure you have your expectations in check, there will be less tension.
13. Don’t worry if you’re not in a relationship
This isn’t technically relationship advice, but seriously, if you’re not with someone, who cares. There are many good things about being single (less stress, for one). It gives you time to work on your self-improvement if you need it (and really, who doesn’t?), and we all know the saying that no one can love you unless you really love yourself. If you’re single, focus on other things instead, and eventually the perfect relationship will form. Go out and have some fun in the meantime.
Of course, not every relationship is the same and what works for one couple might not work for another. But be honest, love and respect yourself, and you should have the basis of a functional, long-lasting relationship. Do you have any other tips for college lovebird? Comment below or tweet us @SOCIETY19!