Love languages are an essential aspect of relationships. Everyone responds to things differently, and everyone has a different love language. Some aspects are much more substantial to one person than another. However, you can always combine them, and often we do because we do not know what our loved one responds to in particular to fill up their cup. There are five forms of love languages, and once you figure out what you respond to and what your loved one responds to, it can help build up your relationship.
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are great to show appreciation to the one you love. Words of encouragement and listening to what the other person has to say can significantly impact anyone, but it speaks volumes to a person who responds to positive words. For a person who responds well to this, it is an excellent idea to send random notes or text messages to them to let them know you love and appreciate what they do. You can point out particular items or keep it general as long as you are positive and let your SO know how much they mean to you. Try not to criticize your significant other and do emphasize with them as much as you can. Understanding and appreciation go a long way.
Physical touch does not have to be sexual. You can touch your lover’s arm, cheek, or hold their hand. You can also kiss or hug them to show physical touch and how you feel. Some people respond much to physical touch and feel connected to the other person by being close to them. Pushing someone away, not being affectionate, or reacting coldly to another person who responds to physical touch can negatively impact your relationship. In general, intimacy is essential when it comes to love, and to show it physically to another person tends to be a natural response. However, some people have a hard time with the physical side of a relationship for many reasons. Still, if your loved one prefers this language over others, you can always work your way up to being more physical and be sure to communicate what you are both feeling or thinking.
Some people respond to acts of love being done with gifts. Giving thoughtful gifts and explaining why you chose a particular gift for your loved one helps connect on several more meaningful levels. Always be thankful and express your gratitude for a gift given, especially when it is clear that the other person was trying to be thoughtful. A gift can signify that the other person was thinking about you and wanted to give you something or saw an item that reminded them of you. Always speak with positive, appreciative words and communicate if something bothers you. Not everyone knows how to give gifts; it is acceptable to express interest in things but always show gratitude. Try not to forget special events and occasions. It is a great idea to keep track of your phone or calendar and not make the other person feel like their gift was unappreciated.
Spending quality time may mean the world to your significant other or you. When someone puts aside something for you or makes you a priority, it shows how much you mean to that person. When you show you have time for the other person and that you are not too busy for them, it speaks volumes. We live in a fast-paced world, and it is often hard to slow down and connect. Quality time allows you to connect to another person by talking and creating memories. You can have a picnic, go for a walk in a park, or do something fun you have had planned for a while. Even spending time together doing something you both enjoy, like watching a film or playing a game, equals good quality time together. Try to limit distractions. For example, if you are talking to your loved one, put the phone down. Listen carefully to what they are saying and make a real connection with your SO. These little acts go a long way.
Acts of Service
Helping your significant other out may be a big step in relieving their stress and altering the way they respond to you. Saying things like, “I will help with…” Do tend to go a long way. Asking your SO if they need assistance or anything they require your help is also a nice gesture to make. Try to pay attention to your partner’s needs or what they are struggling with, genuinely offer help, and do it with a willing attitude. Attitude goes a long way when performing acts of service. Sometimes acts of service are not just offering help but also doing something nice for your partner. Make them breakfast, offer to make dinner that night, or bring them their favorite snack or coffee on a random day. If your significant other asks for help with something, make it a priority. Help lighten the workload or household chores if you can. You can make things fun by offering to do a chore together and use that time to talk or connect in another way. Do not promise something you cannot keep and follow through on what you offer, and I guarantee you that they will remember, and your significant other will appreciate your acts of service and love.
It is not easy to do all of these languages of love, some come more easily to us than others, and some are difficult because of our experiences or how we are wired. However, we can always work on them and connect with our loved ones in a healthy and fun way. If you are a person that needs a bit of a push for one or more of these areas and you are struggling to find out what your partner responds to, try asking them what they like. There is also an excellent book that will challenge you daily and weekly tasks to apply to your life that implements the love languages. The Love Dare Book by Stephen Kendrick will help challenge you on new things to do for your significant other while also giving you food for thought on why these elements are essential. Once you learn what you respond to and what your partner responds to, you can work on those things that will fill up your love cups and bring you closer together.
Which love language do you think you fit into, and can you identify what your significant other’s love language is? Let us know which one you are more responsive to, and share your thoughts with us below!
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I am a writer, artist, mother, and wife. I am from California but currently reside in Arizona. I have a BA in English with a concentration in writing. I have a certificate in SEO through Universal Class. I love music, art, writing, pop culture, gaming, anime, and Disney.