Summer is the time for picnics, ice cream by the beach, bonfires and, you guessed it, flings. And who can help it? If you aren’t in a committed relationship, summer is the perfect season for testing the waters and having fun with new and exciting people. I feel like it is almost a right of passage at this point for anyone young. But it’s one thing to have a fling, it’s entirely another thing to want it to be more.
It can be hard to be in the position of having feelings for someone but not knowing if they feel the same way, especially if your own feelings are deeper than you realize. Flings can be precarious, but if you truly feel for the person you’re with, then here’s how to turn your fun summer fling into something a little more serious.
Don’t Move Too Fast
Moving things too fast never leads to anything good, especially when it comes to a summer fling. Patience is a virtue, they say, and it is also a life-saver when it comes to new relationships. Moving too fast can sometimes overwhelm a person and make them think they aren’t exactly ready for the next step. Most people go into a summer fling wanting it to be just that, a fling. Waiting it out and seeing if the person wants to move in the direction of something more will be the best thing for both of you. Besides, it’s summer; there is no need to rush!
Learn About Shared Interest
For the most part, summer flings revolve around one thing: sex. Now, that is great for a summer fling, but if you truly want something more out of this relationship, try and use the time you have together to do something else more personal, like see each other’s favorite movies, or go out for a quick casual breakfast after spending the night to get to know each other a little better! Communicating on what makes each other tick will let you know just how compatible you are together, and hopefully it will do the same for your fling.
Disappointment breeds resentment, and that’s the last thing you want to feel toward your potential partner. Don’t go into a fling fully expecting it to automatically run its course until it becomes into a full-blown relationship. You need to be open-minded about how things might turn out, even if it’s not in the direction you want it to. There (unfortunately) isn’t a list of rules you have to follow in order to make the person you have feelings for feel the exact same way. Take a breath this summer and see where the season takes you. While there may not be rules to turning a fling into a relationship, there are some loose guidelines that will be sure to help both you and your fling realize what you want.
As the summer continues, you should be paying attention to what your fling’s reactions and attitude have been toward your small advancements. If they don’t seem interested and don’t want to get to know the real you, then don’t try and push it. If they aren’t interested, find someone else. But if they are reciprocating, then that’s when you know not to let go just yet! Reading signs is just as important as letting them know you want something more than just a fling. Unfortunately, there are times where it can be hard to actually read the signs–some people are just hard to read sometimes, which means that it’s time to take things just a tad further to establish what it is you really want out of all of this.
Adjust Your Habits
When it comes to summer flings, it can be hard to break out of the standard routine you set up with your fling in the beginning. The word “fling,” can encompass a lot of meanings, but it usually centers around brief sexual encounters that happen every so often with one another. If that has been your routine with your own fling so far, try and switch things up. Maybe suggest going to dinner first, or catching a movie! Or, if that’s moving a far bit too fast out of the fling-zone for you, try texting him a little more often. Establish a pattern where you see each other more frequently, and your visits don’t revolve around sex, despite how fun that can be.
Talk It Out
I know how scary talking it out can be, but if none of these guidelines have worked out and given your fling the hint that you want something more, then it’s time to confess what you want. By now, this conversation shouldn’t be too terrifying if you’ve seen the signs that your fling shares some of the same feelings.
Talking it out should hopefully only put both of your wants and needs out in the open and give you both the opportunity to see where this whole thing is going, even if you can’t picture it being something serious. While relationships are fun, they can be a lot of work, too. But if that is something you want, don’t be afraid to address it. Don’t hide your feelings just because you think your fling might back away from them. You have every right to say what you feel, even if it doesn’t pay off the way you wanted it to. Being true to yourself will always benefit you in the long run.