How To Get Over Someone You Only Kind Of Dated

It’s move in day on the first day of college. You eagerly explore your hall as your parents haul the boxes that you brought. You run into your room and jump up and down with your new roommate because you know this is the beginning of your next 4 years together. As soon as you step into the hallway to grab your boxes you make eye contact with the most gorgeous boy in the hall. Little do you know that this is going to be the beginning of a very complicated relationship, eventually leading to figuring out how to get over someone you only kind of dated.

You guys start talking and it seems friendly and all until he takes you out for drinks one night and next thing you know the two of you are lying in bed together the next morning. Things are going well at first, you continue to hook up but you both make it very clear that you don’t want a relationship. Well after a couple of months, you guys are “exclusive” but not dating. Everyone is going to say that you’re dating but you both deny it. You fall into a routine with each other, you know when they have classes, when they go to the gym, and you’ll always leave the door open for him at night. Until he decides one day that this is just too much, and that he wants to see other people. You sit there with your heart broken and everyone says “Oh, but I thought you weren’t dating.” It’s hard because you don’t know how to feel because in fact you weren’t dating….. but yet it still hurts.

1. It’s okay to cry.

The one thing that is hard about college is that you never have any alone time. Especially when you’re in a forced triple there is always going to be someone in the room. Your roommates may not understand why you’re so upset about the situation but you have every right to be sad and upset. The best place to let your sorrows out is in a nice hot shower. One of the few places you’ll ever get privacy in college.

2. Take a step back and evaluate everything.

Just because things are over with him doesn’t mean the world is over either. But even though you guys weren’t “official” doesn’t mean it hurts any less either.  Sometimes you need to take a step back from the situation to evaluate why things really ended. The best thing you can do is go home for the weekend. There is nothing better than being surrounded by family and friends who don’t know what’s always going on in your life.

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3. Make some time to treat yourself.

During times like this, it’s okay to make some changes to your life. Whether it’s changing your hair or losing some weight, do something for yourself. Heck, even treat yourself to that overpriced manicure. The better you look, the better you feel.

4. Start making changes.

I’m not saying dye your hair black and listen to emo music, but start making little changes in your everyday lifestyle. Whether it’s not chewing your nails or spending an extra hour at the library every week and slowly build up from there. Eventually work up to changing something significant in your life that will ultimately help promote a better lifestyle.

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5. It’s not the end of the world.

Just because you guys aren’t seeing each other anymore doesn’t mean you should transfer schools or anything drastic. It’s going to take time to get over everything that happened but that’s okay. You should take all the time that you need.

Don’t let people judge you based on the fact that you weren’t dating. Others peoples opinion should not effect you or your relationship either. Chances are if things ended it was probably for a good reason. Use this experience to make the best version of yourself. If that means you pick up yoga or start eating a healthy breakfast everyday. Do what makes you happy and don’t forget tomorrow is always a new day.

Do you have any other tips for how to get over someone you only kind of dated? Comment below!
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Gabriella OConnell

Current freshman at SUNY New Paltz. Majoring in Chemistry. Love to share my college experience with those who can learn from it!