Let’s be honest, sex isn’t always easy. One night stands aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be and long-term relationship sex can get a little repetitive. Just because your intimacy is lacking, doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to bring it back to life and give it that extra thrust to greatness. We have created a list of ways to spice up your sex life today.
Be honest and Build Trust
There’s nothing sexier than being honest and vulnerable with your partner. If you don’t know what you’re significant other is really thinking, how can you give them what they want/need?. Additionally, trust is essential. If they aren’t able to trust you and put their faith in you, then their ability to be fully comfortable and open up won’t be possible. And vis versa, if you can’t trust them, how can you open up and give yourself fully to them? Without these essentials, walls begin to go up and people start to shut down. In turn, it gets difficult to be intimate with each other.
Communicate and Express Expectations
This relates back to our first point. You need to communicate with each other. If you aren’t telling the other person what you want, how can you expect to be satisfied? We all have different wants and needs and no one is a mind reader. Speak up and tell your parnter what you expect. Ask them what they want. They’ll find it hot that you’re caring about their needs and wanting to give them the most pleasure possible.
Try something new
Everyone’s experience with sex is different. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Bring toys inside of the bedroom. Experiment with hot and cold. Maybe do a little role-playing. Try and get out of your head and have a little fun. Sex isn’t suppose to be one specific way. There are so many different variables that go into it. What works for you may not work for them. Figure out how you can add the element of surprise into your sex life. Work through it together. Not only does this create fun and excitement in the bedroom, but it also helps to bond.
Send flirty messages
Excite your partner by sending them sexy messages throughout the day. Give them a little tease or send a naughty picture. (Make sure you trust the person before sending such personal content). Plan a sexy night and give them a little sneak peek on what to expect later. They’ll get all hot and heavy waiting to come home and see what you’ve got planned. Build up the tension and go into detail about what you want to do to your partner. Make them feel sexy, but also allow yourself to feel empowered. It’s a win-win.
Explore New Locations
Break out of the regular, everyday bedroom sex and go on an adventure. Have a romantic night under the stars. Maybe move sexy time into the shower or book a hotel room for a night. Get out of your regular routine and find a way to bring spontaneity into the mix.
Thinking about trying new things but unsure of where to start? Research what you don’t know. It doesn’t hurt to look things up. It’s totally normal if you’re feeling stuck and don’t know what steps to take. We’re all human, and we aren’t perfect. No one has the answers 100% of the time. That’s why it is essential to ask questions, inquire with close confidants, make an appointment with a sex therapist, TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. There are endless options and paths you can take. Read articles, watch porn. It’s okay to educate yourself and learn new things. Try not to be stuck in the past and what you know. You never know if you might like something if you never try it. Take a trip to your nearest sex store and explore. Find a safe word and set boundaries. Thrive in the uncomfortable moments. Once you get past that, you will become closer than ever.
Don’t be afraid to reveal your fantasies
We all have fantasties, but for some reason, we’ve been taught to bury them deep and hide them away. It’s okay to reveal what you want, even if they seem outside the box. We all have needs and they are all different. It’s okay that we express ourselves in different ways. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, ask to do something that you’ve always wanted to do. It could be something you both will never forget. If it doesn’t work out, at least you tried. Make sure you set expectations, be honest, and have faith in your partner. Most importantly, make sure you trust one another.
Be Where You Are
We all overthink sometimes. It’s human nature. Try your hardest to be where you are and focus on the present. Nothing ruins the mood more than being too much in your head. Do your best to let loose and get out of your mind every once in a while. Enjoy the moment and be happy where you are. Take everything one step at a time. Don’t rush things, everyone progresses at a different pace. It’s okay if you’re not on the same page as your partner, talk it out. Like we mentioned, we’re all different. We’re all having a unique experience in this life. Make sure you live in the moment and be where you are.
Try Tantric Sex
“Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.” If all of these options dont work for you, maybe Tantric Sex is just what you need. Don’t knock it until you try it. This can be one of the most enlightening sexual experiences you’ll ever have. Don’t take out word for it, do the research and read for yourself about real people who have had lifechanging results.