I have always believed that despite the infamous, ‘black or white’ terms in which people define relationships; the grey areas in between keep getting bigger and bigger. Staying in a relationship after a shock like an infidelity or a pattern of discomfort is no easy task. It drains the relationship down to the bone, leaving only the ones too stubborn to leave, or too broken to move on. Here are a few reminders to us, the young, the thriving society that accepts to put up with the threats of a broken heart. Here is why you might be staying with a cheater.
1- They Apologize
Sometimes we listen what we want to hear, and sometimes our partners tell us exactly that. It is a repetitive cycle that becomes meaningless and it leaves a bitter-sweet kiss. It leaves you wondering if a fight is worth it, but if a make-up is too much effort. Apologies are receipts we pay for our actions, will they continue to rack up the bill?
2- They are your Best Friend
There are only a few people in these times where you truly connect. I’m not talking light banter across the room, I’m talking electricity racking up a storm inside the relationship. When this happens the friendship is used as the excuse to remain as the forgiving one. You become the angel and the cliche receiver of, ” I don’t deserve you.” A long lasting friendship isn’t a hall pass to pride a string of one night stands in front of your partner. It neither is a reason to stay and swallow your dignity, someone else can do that for him.
3- Fear of Being Alone
There is a reason people accept an infidelity, fear of being alone. This is the biggest reason why people may be staying with a cheater and don’t realize it. Perhaps not everyone, and perhaps the hopeless romantics retain faith in the crumbling relationship. But for a solid cluster of relationships, the dynamics are manipulative and toxic. What if I end up alone, what if it’s my fault? What did I do wrong? This where the grey area comes to play. You can’t make your partner believe that you are so desperately clinging to them when they know you’d forgive them anything. That is not the type of person someone deserves.
Although there are countless of reasons to which your heart has decided to hold onto this particular human being, never forget who you were before them; now that is the true reason behind a relationship. Don’t turn into the pathetic excuse of a person not expressing their colorful life for the fear of someone else crushing our perception of love. You make your own perception.