We all have skeletons in the closet that we’re not proud of, but there’s no reason to keep them hidden from your partner! If you’re keeping dirty secrets from your SO, just know sooner or later they will find out (that’s how life works)! But if you want to have a strong relationship with zero trust issues, then it’s time you come clean about any dirty laundry you might have. Not sure if your secret is that bad? Read on to learn the most notorious dirty secrets you should never keep from your SO!
1. You’re cheating on them.
This dirty secret ranks first place, for obvious reasons. Cheating can easily be categorized as one of the most damning secrets, as it’s guaranteed to leave emotional scars. If you are cheating on your SO, you need to tell them now! Cheating can take many forms, such as sexting, having an emotional affair, or sleeping with someone else.
If you are starting to have feelings for someone else, you need to be honest with your SO (they deserve that)! Even if you have a cheating history (and you swore you’d never do it again) you still need to tell your SO. It’s difficult to have this type of conversation knowing your relationship might be on the line, but you’re only making it worse if you keep this one a secret. Imagine if your SO finds out on their own, say perhaps, by running into the other woman/man?!?
2. You have substance abuse issues.
Admitting you are addicted to alcohol or drugs is never easy, but it’s important your SO sees the real you. With this type of secret, no matter how far you run, it will always catch up to you, at some point. Once you tell your SO about your substance abuse issues, more things about your relationship will make sense to them. And if they really love you, they will help you get through it. Don’t be scared of rejection, or shame; the faster you tell them, the faster you’ll be on the road to recovery.
3. You have a criminal history.
After you tell your SO about your criminal history, your relationship could change, depending on the magnitude of the crime you committed. Maybe you did a minor shoplifting stunt in your early 20’s, big whoop! But, if you have committed any serious felonies, you need to come clean to your SO now. A criminal history can follow you, even after you aren’t behind bars.
4. You have a crazy, toxic ex they need to know about.
This dirty secret can be embarrassing, and maybe you just don’t want to bring that emotional baggage into your new relationship. So hey, I get it. Your crazy ex stalks you and still tries to message you, even after you blocked them twice.
Now, you don’t need to go scaring your SO, but at least give them a heads up, so they’re not taken aback when your crazy ex starts stalking them, too.
5. You have a kid.
Not mentioning you have a kid on the first date can snowball into weeks of your SO not knowing. Imagine how they’ll feel when, after months, they finally find out you have a kid! I’m not saying to lead with this on the first date, but make it known. Be proud of who you are, and if you’re dating “the one,” they won’t judge you or run the other direction, they’ll understand.
6. You have a lot of financial debt.
If you are starting to get serious with your SO (and I’m talking weddings bells are ringing) then it’s time to bring up this lovely conversation. Yes, it won’t be easy, but your SO deserves to know. And while it’s not a deal breaker, you and your SO need to start mapping out a plan to best tackle this dirty secret. Because once you two are married, then your debt becomes their debt, too.
7. You’re divorced.
I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to tell your SO about past marriages, you know, with new beginnings and all. But it’s important for your SO to know where you’ve been. A divorce can be messy, and it comes with split accounts, new living situations, and the possibility of shared custody. If you respect your SO and really see a future together, you need to tell them about this part of your past. Unfortunately, this isn’t baggage you can just toss out the window and drive away from; you need to hit this one head-on.
8. You have a “wild” sexual history.
This does not mean tell your SO that you like to get freaky in bed. This means you’ve acquired STDs throughout your erotic adventures, and you need to notify your SO, um, yesterday! If you care about your SO’s health, then be honest about who you are AND where you’ve been. There’s no time like the present to rip this band aid off. Oh, and get tested again, please!
9. You’ve checked your SO’s social media accounts or phone without them knowing.
I see you, sneaking a peek at your SO’s phone while they’re in the bathroom. Shame on you.
Odds are, you’re not going to find anything good, and the whole reason you’re checking anyway is because you’re hoping to find something. Just stop! Trust your partner and come clean about invading their privacy. Even if your SO gives you a reason to question their loyalty, confront your doubts head-on by talking directly to your SO, rather than scrolling through their Insta.
10. Your dysfunctional family history.
Once you are your SO are serious, it’s time they know all of the family baggage. Remember, when you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family! So let your partner know all about that insane aunt on your mom’s side, or that shady uncle who’s been in jail for ten years. Remember, this secret isn’t necessarily a deal breaker; we can’t choose where we come from, but we can choose where we end up.
Are you keeping any dirty secrets from your SO? Spill the tea in the comments below! Don’t worry, we won’t tell!
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