Fights are complicated, and they start for various reasons. Sometimes we are stressed and take things out; sometimes, we are unhappy about our relationships for one reason or another. Regardless, nobody is immune to fights. You can have fights with friends, family, or lovers for almost anything, but there are some things you should do after a fight to help you and those involved move forward or work through it.
Step Away From Each Other
Sometimes you may need to walk away from the fight or the person you are arguing with at that time. Taking a walk or retreating to what you feel is s safe place may be for your benefit to cool down and step away from a situation that could further escalate. If you are too angry to hear what the other person is saying or to communicate without yelling, it is best to step away for a bit. You can always come back together when you are both cooled down, calm, and ready to discuss what happened. Be sure to let them know you are stepping away to cool down and think and not leaving for good.
Take Time For Yourself
Fights happen for one reason or another. It is essential to take time to meditate on why the fight happened in the first place. You can analyze your emotions, thoughts, and thoughts about how you responded and how the other person responded during the fight. Sometimes when we take time and step back, we can see the bigger picture. It is also important to take time so that you can cool down. You cannot think clearly if you are angry or still overheated over the argument in the first place. Remember, there is no harm in taking time before you speak to the person you argued with; this gives you time to evaluate and calm down so when you speak, it is not from a place of anger.
Analyze and Discover Why It Happened
Think about why your fight happened. Were you angry over something else, something they said, or an event? Are you taking things out on each other, are you stressed? What was the main factor in your argument? When you can pinpoint the reason for the anger, you can take the next steps in resolving the issue at hand or making improvements. Remember to focus on the place your anger is coming from so that you can explain and talk about it later. Fights are driven by passion and often things that are built up or a misunderstanding. We can avoid them by communicating, but sometimes they happen because of other reasons such as stress or unhappiness.
Jot Down What You Are Feeling
Writing is therapeutic, and it often allows us to express what we are feeling in words that we may have a hard time saying in person. When we are angry, we have difficulty expressing our real emotions or what is bothering us. We often struggle to get across the real issue because our minds are muddled with emotion and anger. However, when we take time to write, we give ourselves the ability to think and dive deeper into what is bothering us or what we are genuinely angered about at the time. We may discover things we didn’t know we felt, and we can use this to discuss the issues later.
Talk About It
This may seem obvious, but it is crucial to talk about the fight. Sometimes we avoid talking about our fights or what upset us because we feel ashamed, we are still angry, or we do not know how to talk about how we feel. We tend to shy away from things that make us uncomfortable, but if we do not talk about it, our feelings stay pent up, and when the next thing upsets us, it builds up, and we explode. It may be hard to talk about what happened, but it almost always comes back up later if you ignore the situation. These fights create animosity and strain on relationships when they are not talked through or dealt with appropriately. Agree to hear each other and express how you feel and what made you angry. Remember, if someone has upset you, they may not realize why and will continue to upset you if you do not address the issue. Hear out the other person. Make sure you listen to what they have to say, and even if you disagree with them, let them know you hear what they are saying and understand where they are coming from at that time. We will never agree on everything, but dismissing how a person feels or minimalizing their thoughts or feelings makes them feel like you do not care about them at all.
Fights are complicated, and we often prefer not to address them and ignore the issues. However, doing so can have lasting damage, and if we are not careful to handle them maturely, we can suffer long-term effects on our relationships. Remember to respect each other no matter what has happened. Fights are common and often come from stress or an accumulation of events or feelings. It is up to us to each step back and try to defuse the situation, analyze what the real issue is, and be mature about handling what is bothering us. You cannot move forward if you do not address what is needed. Fights are emotional, but we can learn and move forward if we slow down, hear the other person out, and try our best to make changes where it is needed.
What things do you like to do after a fight? Do you have a particular spot you retreat to and think? Do you talk to someone to help you figure out what to do or see a different perspective? What are the things you find most helpful to get through a brutal fight? Please share your thoughts on fights with us and how you handle them in a relationship, friendship, or family in the comments below!
I am a writer, artist, mother, and wife. I am from California but currently reside in Arizona. I have a BA in English with a concentration in writing. I have a certificate in SEO through Universal Class. I love music, art, writing, pop culture, gaming, anime, and Disney.