As we grow older we start to realize that some friends are not life long friends, and some from our pasts we should have held onto. With college and jobs and all the changes we face in young adulthood we go through friendships, some that last a lifetime and some that are meant to be in our lives for only a period of time. But as we age, we start to reach out to the friends that were always there and the ones that are truly our ride or dies. It may be awkward at first but reconnecting with those who truly care for you can be good for both you and our old friend, these ways will make that transition easier.
1. Reach Out About A Commonality
You can’t really reconnect with someone without starting somewhere and a text after months of not talking or seeing one another a “how’s it going” may seem in-genuine or awkward. If you see a song you and your old best friend used to belt in the car, or you pass your old hangout spot, sending them a picture or text of that shared memory will make them also reminisce. Maybe you were both obsessed with the same TV show or movie, sending that to them and using that as an avenue to open up conversation will give you a good idea to see if they’re open to communicating with you. If you text them about your favorite TV show you both loved and they don’t reply, you may want o give them more time but if they respond positively, it gives you an avenue for something to converse about. You could invite them to a trivia themed to that commonality and it will give you a reason to reach out.
2. Coffee Date
Coffee is always the answer when it comes to a casual meeting. Coffee can be a quick catch up or a long conversation. It’s an easy solution to test out if this old friendship can work as well as it did in years past. It’s perfect if you’re nervous it will be weird, and don’t think you’ll have much to talk about, coffee can be quick, and you can catch up on the basic changes in each other lives, it’s a good test drive to see if you really want to revisit that friendship. If you have a really good time and you leave wishing you had more time, you know it’s a friendship you want to reinvest in. But if you leave and feel weird about it and don’t think you’ll mesh together anymore you didn’t have to sit through an entire dinner to find that out.
Movies are a great option for those who aren’t great at socializing, you can catch up some before the movie and if you guys had a good time you can make plans after and discuss the movie. It gives you something lighthearted to talk about without having to delve into personal lives so much. It’s great if you really want to reconnect but aren’t sure how, you can reach out and tell them you saw something that you think only they’d like. Maybe you guys loved a certain actor and they have a new movie coming out, you can reach out and tell them that no one appreciates that actor the way they do and you really want to experience it with a true fan. You won’t have to talk much but it gives you a reason to reconnect.
4. Group Outings
Maybe you guys were close friends and shared a friend group but when you went to college she wasn’t able to hang out with you guys as much. Inviting her to a social event with your mutual friends takes some of the pressure off of just you two trying to reconnect. It gets them in an environment they were in before without trying to introduce them to a bunch of people, this is great because they already know other people. Inviting them to a holiday party or a night out, you won’t feel as much pressure to converse with them the entire time and they’ll feel more comfortable having so many other people there to talk to.
Honestly, I have never had anyone say no to brunch before in my life. It’s a different atmosphere than going to dinner with someone, its usually more causal but it’s also a sure way to get them to say yes. Anytime I am looking to reconnect with a friend the first thing I suggest is brunch because I love brunch but I also know most everyone does. Going to a popular brunch spot that everyone been talking about is an easy way to reconnect. Telling them you’ve been meaning to go to this new brunch place and you need someone to check it out with is the perfect way to reconnect. You can talk about if it’s overrated or if it’s lived up to the hype.
6. Study Session
With as busy as everyone seems to be these days, fitting in a social life on top of work and school can be really hard. If you an an old friend have been trying really hard to meet up but just can’t figure out how with all your other obligations invite them to a study session. They’ll love that they can still get work done and catch up. This is another option for if you feel like you won’t have much to talk about to start out. It shows that you care enough to make time for them but you also aren’t obligated to sit and talk for hours. A friend and I do this a lot, with opposite schedules and juggling multiple responsibilities we text each other when wearing are heading to a coffee shop or the library. We catch up for a little bit them get to work. It’s a great way to make sure you are showing effort to see them even when you are beyond busy.
Maybe you haven’t seen your friend in a long time and you’re both looking for something to do to catch up. Shopping can be a fun way to do that, you get a true friends opinion when you are shopping with them. Maybe they always had a great sense of fashion and you’re going to a wedding and want a good opinion. Telling her you need an expert opinion will make her more inclined to want to go and while you’re talking style you can catch up about their school work and their new job.
8. Commit to An Activity Together
If you both are looking to reconnect and just don’t seem to find the time, find a mutual hobby or activity you enjoy and commit to doing it either monthly or weekly. Maybe it’s a yoga class, or a book club. Finding something that’s set in stone will make it easier to commit and sharing a commitment like that will help the two of you bond. You both may have loved reading when you were in school so joining a book club together helps you to see each other more often but also lets you commit to your hobbies. Getting them to join a yoga class or gym, you’re ensuring you still have time to workout and be a healthy but you are spending time together on top of that.
9. Connect About Life Changes
Maybe they started a new job or a new semester, checking in with the new thing in their life is an easy thing for them to talk about. They may have gotten engaged, telling them you want to celebrate or meet their fiancé is a good way to show you still care. It seems less out of the blue but shows you support them. Checking in to see how their new job is going is perfect to give you a conversation to start out with, and if it goes well you can use that to plan a get together. They’ll love that you care about the changes in their life and they will probably want someone to talk to about the changes. If it’s a breakup or something more serious, you know that she will need a friend during that time. Either way if its good or bad, we all need support in all phases if life and showing that the changes in her life are important to you will be a great opportunity to reach out.
10. Plan An Event
Friendsgiving, Galentine’s Days are really fun ways to connect with friends and get everyone together. It’s a great way to include people you don’t always see. They’ll love that you included them, and throwing out an extra text outside of your initial invite will show to them that you really want them to come. It’s a great way to include someone you don’t always get to see but you’ll both get the opportunity to see other people. Any fake friend related holiday is a great time to express how their friendship has impacted you even if you’ve lost touch. It can help the two of you to reconnect without the pressure of an individual sit down get together. It will keep things light and fun and can be a test run to see if you want to reexplore that friendship.
What ways are you going to use to reach out to old friends? How have you reconnected with friends? Comment below how you made that transition.
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MARIA HEHMAN IS A GRADUATE OF THOMAS MORE COLLEGE, WHERE SHE OBTAINED A BACHELOR'S OF ARTS IN ENGLISH, WITH AN EMPHASIS IN CREATIVE WRITING. SHE WORKS AS A MANAGER IN RETAIL AND DOES FREELANCE WRITING IN HER SPARE TIME. HER WRITING TOPIC WITH SOCIETY19 VARY, BUT FASHION IS HER GREATEST INTEREST. YOU CAN FIND HER MOST DAYS DRINKING ENTIRELY TOO MUCH COFFEE WHILE WATCHING HER FAVORITE SHOW, FRIENDS.