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Here’s Why Everyone From Oldham Wishes They Lived Somewhere Else
Society19 UK
Society19 UK

Here’s Why Everyone From Oldham Wishes They Lived Somewhere Else

by
December 4, 2024
Oldham is a place that many people wish they didn't grow up in. I've put together a list of reasons as to why exactly that is.

Ahh, Oldham. Our little non-descript town, whose recent claim to fame was ranking #9 in the top 10 worst towns in England, and having a number of schools ranked the worst in England. Yay us, right? Now don’t get me wrong, I love my town. I was born and raised in Oldham, and my family live there. But that doesn’t cancel out the fact that, in all honesty, it’s just a bit shit. So, what is it about Oldham that makes it so grim – why are we all so eager to leave? Here’s my take on it.

1. Overpopulation

Ever been to the Spindles on a Saturday? Utter horror story – and don’t even get me started on the queues in NatWest. I know that towns are sometimes more on the crowded side but Oldham really is pushing its limits. With new housing developments popping up left, right and centre overpopulation is a real concern. Combine all this with the added traffic on the roads and it’s no wonder we’re all dreaming of moving to the peaceful countryside.

2. Proximity to Manchester

Manchester, home of big brands, good food and culture by the bucketful. With all this just down the road our little town centre, with its 3 different pound shops and various empty storefronts, just can’t compete. I can’t be the only one who’s daydreamed about zipping across Manchester on a Vespa whilst living in a city centre apartment, when in reality I’m waiting for a 409 bus that’s never on time.

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3. Haggard-ness

Despite a recent attempt to rejuvenate the centre with the new cinema complex, you can’t deny that Oldham in general is pretty tired looking. The empty shop fronts and dingy back alleys, combined with litter filled streets and graffiti covered walls doesn’t paint a pretty picture. This can be infuriating at times, because a lot more needs to be done to help our image. Sometimes it just feels like the world has given up on little towns like ours, and these feelings of despair are enough to make anyone want to leave.

4. It’s a little rough.

This might be a little hard for some people to handle, but it’s undeniably true. In some parts, Oldham is a bit rough. Just take a walk into town on a busy day and you’ll see what I mean. You’ve got your classic litter louts, your guys spitting everywhere, probably a pile of something gross on the floor, and at least 1 person kicking off at someone else. Not great. Plus, our crime rate isn’t getting any lower, and some places are just so overrun with drugs it’s ridiculous. Oh, and there’s always at least one guy on the bus making everyone uncomfortable, or one gang of kids on the tram that gets removed by the police at Derker.

See Also
Please use as feature imageRight in the bottom corner of the country is the county of East Sussex. Home of the Battle of Hastings, our many castles and stony beaches. If you grew up in East Sussex, here are some things you would know if you lived here.We’re known for our beachesMost of the beaches at East Sussex are easy and quick to get to but these usually consist of pebble beaches which are extremely uncomfortable to sit on. This is usually the main attraction to people on the summer which is usually packed with people on hot sunny days.And our piersWe are renown for having a few piers such as the one of Brighton. Of course, we used to have the one in Hastings…before it was burnt down. But of course, we have many more we can go to.Bonfires are a huge eventSussex is extremely renowned for its bonfires and parades. These usually comes with parades and firework shows which happen across East Sussex in October and November. Each town does it slightly differently, but all consist of great parades and fireworks.You always loved going to the arcadesThere are many amusement parks and arcades across East Sussex. Although we know how likely we are to win at these games, you can’t help but waste your money just to get one of the fluffy toys. Either that or we try to work together with our friends to get as many tickets as possible, then have to decide whether to cash in the tickets separately or combine them for a bigger price. Or wasting all your 2p machines where you spend your spare chance, and so much more, just to get one of the key chains.The Battle of Hastings was always the one piece of history you always rememberedThe most famous piece of history about us is the Battle of Hastings, which is bombarded into our history lessons when we get the chance. Not to mention an all-day field trip of the battle grounds themselves.You bragged about how it’s the home of ChoccywoccydoodahIf you ever watched this show, you would know that its home is right here in East Sussex. There is another shop in London but of course, its main home is right here. Chocolate cakes and everything chocolate sculpted into anything and everything.The majority of the population consisted of elderly individualsIn many of its small towns like Bexhill and Little Common it’s the place many people retire to. Full of scenic places and cafes, its great to retire but it means that you see more of them more than any other age group. So, when you move out of East Sussex, you find it weird when you see more younger people around.Brighton is the first thing outsiders will mentionIt’s a large city and when you mention to anyone outside of East Sussex that you’re from East Sussex, the first thing they’ll mention is Brighton. Of course, you can say which town you’re from but not a lot of people would really know where that is.You travelled to cities to hang outIf you lived in a village or town, you always went to a city to hang out with friends. In the south of east Sussex, everyone always wanted to go to Hastings or Eastbourne. They’re both bigger towns but with the large amount of music gigs, Hastings was always preferred by many.You were limited for choice for universitiesThere was either Brighton University or the University of Sussex but that was the only options unless you wanted to specialise in animal management or music. Regardless, if you did want to go in Sussex, Brighton is the main city with universities in them.Not a lot of celebrities come from or live hereAlthough there isn’t many celebrities that come here, we did have a few that lived here. For a while, Eddie Izzard lived in Bexhill. During this time, Bexhill college named their new theatre after him. That and, both Brighton and Eastbourne were the centre locations for Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging, but as for celebrities, it isn’t really the place you see them, unless they’re on holiday and visiting of course.Have anything else to add about East Sussex, comment below.
You Know You Are From East Sussex If…

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Now please don’t come at me with pitchforks, I know there’s positives to Oldham I really do. But as someone who’s spent 18 years of their life there before moving to university, I know just how much of a mess it really is too. I’m sure if given the chance most people would leave Oldham without so much of a backwards glance.

Living there is like drinking Glenn’s vodka straight out of the bottle, whilst everyone else is on Cîroc and coke – and if that isn’t the most Oldham quote I don’t know what is. But it’s only because I live here that I can say all this. If an outsider tried to join in on this we’d be quick to defend our little town. Because it may be a trashy mess but it’s our trashy mess.

What do you think about living in Oldham? Tell me in the comments!
Featured Image Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldham#/media/File:OldhamTownCentre.png
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