As women, we put a lot of stock into our first time. We build up romantic expectations over the years, fuelled by a medley of societal pressure, romantic films and cheesy after school special episodes urging you to “wait”.
Well, if you’re reading this, you’ve done your waiting. So, here’s what you need to do with all that expectation and weird stigma you’ve attached to getting down to it for the first time: forget it.
Here’s some truths to take on board instead:
1. It’s Gonna Get Weird, So Deal
Being intimate with someone for the first time is going to be strange. It’s a given. It’s something new and while we’d all like to pretend we’re cooler than we actually are, there’s no real point. So embrace the weirdness and be honest about your emotions in the moment. Communication is key so don’t go tight lipped now.
2. It’s Probably Going To Be A Sprint, Not A Marathon
A lot of factors go into how fast your first time goes; how nervous you are and how nervous your partner is. Actual people do not realistically bang for hours at a time in a romantic haze of lust. This is not The Notebook. So, if you’re not “making love” all night, don’t worry. Nicholas Sparks lied, what else is new?
3. It’s Not That Serious
There’s nothing more off putting than someone who can’t laugh at themselves. Sex is one of the most vulnerable positions you can put yourself in and embarrassing things happen during it. Freezing up won’t turn back time so acknowledge it, laugh and move on. Finding a sexual partner you can laugh with is a gift, so let go a little. You’ll have more fun, I promise!
4. You Will Not Transform Into Another Person
Media sometimes portrays sex as completely transformative. Sometimes in a positive way and sometimes negatively. But despite this, you don’t become a better or worse person once you’ve had sex. You’re just going to be plain old you with one notch on your belt.
Basically go have fun and don’t worry if there’s no candles or romantic backing track. There usually isn’t.
Do you have any advice for the first time having sex!? Share in the comments below!
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