In college, you’re bound to hear a bunch of interesting things on a daily basis. But, here are 10 things you will never hear at Rutgers University.
1. “I love the way Brower isn’t worried about impressing anyone, its so nice to have mystery food, it’s like I’m back in middle school *fondly reminisces about mystery meatloaf, definitely 5 stars on yelp”
Brower: The motto “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” was born here. That’s why it’s called RU strong. That “meat” is not meat.. but look how well you’ve managed. You’ve grown so strong, like Bull. Your stomach is now #ApocalypseReady
2. “I think the parking tickets are way too cheap, $75 isn’t nearly enough!”
Because after $30 grand in tuition, $7 trillion on books I absolutely deserve a $75 flip of the bird from DOT for parking 15 minutes before my designated park time. Hell hath no fury like RU play Cops.
3. “I wish all classes were taught by TA’s that graduated last semester and aren’t quite sure of themselves. The professor only has a super thick foreign accent in a 400 level course but I need a little more excitement”
Fun (alternative) fact: There is only a 2% difference in prerequisites between becoming a RU Teaching Assistant and becoming a RU Bus driver…okay maybe not but still..it feels like it.
4. “If I could be anywhere in the world I would always choose to be on an LX around 4pm on a nice hot day, when the air is filled with heavy with BO ( because apparently deodorant is very last season)”
Listen. Whatever sins you commit on the weekend are 100% absolved with every (packed like smelly sardines) LX ride you take.
5. “Wow student advising definitely really helped me out, I understand everything now and can graduate early”
DONT FLIPPING LISTEN TO THEM. Basically the amount of concern for you as the concern Gremlins have for anything after being fed past midnight.
6. “I love the variety of homeless people on the EE, it really gives the bus ride that much needed edge”
A girl was stabbed by a homeless disturbed man in RU Newark while she was studying the library. Maybe we should take a note from this and reevaluate our close quarter interactions and try to secure the busses that students pay through the nose for…just maybe…
7. “If the professor doesn’t start the semester by saying “I have given a total of 3 A’s and I have been here for 37 years” I drop the course immediately, he clearly cant be trusted”
No they do not care. Yes you will most likely have to “kill” off at least one family member to get through this course. They don’t want to see you succeed *DJ Khaled voice*
8. “I feel like the bus drivers should take more breaks”
Yes, you will probably get wherever you have to go faster if you just walked it instead. End of story. Embrace it, might make you a better person or something
9. “There is only 2 feet of snow with freezing rain right now, obviously I am still going to class”
Lets not kid ourselves, they are never cancelling classes. At least SUNY Albany has tunnels to deal with this BS…
10. “I hate Neptune night”
Neptune Night is probably the saving grace of this dining experience. If you don’t love it you’re lying to yourself. Neptune night I miss you. Rutgers would not be Rutgers if one night a year you didn’t try to eat your weight in lobsters to balance the tuition cost. Where would we be without the snaps of all the lobsters the frat guys steal away back to their houses.