Like any ending romantic relationship, losing your best friend can be just as heartbreaking. They were everything: your partner in crime, your A1, your brother or sister. Unfortunately, things happen in life that cause you to grow apart. While that’s perfectly normal, it doesn’t hurt any less when you’re trying to get over it.
Here are the best ways to move on when your closest friendship ends.
Talk It Out With Unbiased Friends
Talking to someone to work through your emotions is extremely healthy when you’re trying to move on from an ex-best friend. However, it’s important to make sure that the friends you are confiding in are unbiased. It doesn’t help a situation when your current friend starts trash talking your past friend. In fact, if they’re willing to talk terribly about someone who once meant so much to you, they may be someone you might end up being wary of.
As you move on, having unbiased people to turn to will allow you the freedom to process your emotions to reach a healthy conclusion instead of leaving toward an opinion of someone else. You need to reconcile the loss of your bestie on your own. Only you know the relationship you once had and how best to let it down slowly. You don’t need someone on the outside telling you how to feel.
Keep Busy With Other Friends
Regardless of who you confide in, staying busy with other friends can be helpful as you move on. Normally when it comes to breakups, I find solace with being with family. However, I also find that it’s better to stay away from family during a break up with a best friend. This is because a best friend is most likely someone who was welcomed into the family much more easily than someone you’re romantic with. That person is most likely like a son or daughter to your parents. Rather than listen to your family talk so much about how “it’s such a shame that Kay turned out that way,” it’s so much more fun to use that time with friends who don’t care to bring up your friend unless you do first.
Constant communication with healthier friends who aren’t toxic will fill the void you are struggling to fill. This also gives you a chance to strengthen the bonds you have with other friends that you might end up growing closer to in the process.
Make A Playlist
Some of my favorite songs to listen to are bops about betrayals from old friends. Spend some time getting rid of the songs you used to sing all the time with your best friend and replace them with a healthy playlist that makes you feel empowered enough to move on. Sure, you don’t have to talk horribly about them to other friends, but I’m sure there are things they have done wrong by you that led to the falling out and you can save those moments for yourself in the car blaring those songs on your speakers.
If you’re looking for suggestions, here are a few that I’ve enjoyed: “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift, “Backstabber” by Kesha, “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” by Taylor Swift, “Real Friends” by Camila Cabello, and “all my friends are fake” by Tate McRae.
Start Making New Friends
This sounds crazy, and I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with the friends you have now, but you’ve probably spent so much time with your best friend that perhaps you’ve denied yourself the opportunity for making brand new friends outside your inner circle. Making new friends is healthy, and it allows you to experience things outside of your bubble.
Additionally, something that can help you move on is considering the negative traits of your ex bestie that led to the fallout. Identifying those traits is imperative so that you have red flags you can pick up on as you branch out to meet others. Did your ex-best friend get you in trouble a lot when you went out drinking? Does your romantic partner not get along with them? You need to evaluate what has happened to replace a toxic bond with healthier ones that are good for your growth.
Pack Up Their Things
Just like you would an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend, you need to get rid of anything you have that reminds you of them. Did you share clothes? Move on by removing them from your closet. Are there old birthday gifts lying in the corner of your bedroom? It’s got to go. Packing things up in boxes is a healthy way to gently remove an ex bestie from your life. It can be gradual or done all at once. Just so what’s healthiest for you.
You don’t necessarily need to burn these items or toss them (though you are welcome to) but consider mailing the stuff to stay with your family until you’re strong enough to figure out what you want to do with it all. You can also mail items back to them as well. When it comes to photos, if there are hard copies, you can place them in an envelope and seal them. Anything on social media can be archived so that you don’t have to see it, but the memories are still there when you’re ready to look back on them.
Block Them On All Social Media
You don’t need to like all their posts still. You’re not obligated to leave comments to boost their self-esteem on their selfies on Instagram. Those friendship perks no longer exist if you’re cutting ties with someone. Consider unfriending them, unfollowing them, and even blocking them.
Nobody says you can never speak to them or reconnect with them again. But, for the time being, you need to move on by creating a new normal for me that they don’t exist in.
Are you going through a break up with your best friend? What are some things you’re doing to move on? Tell me about it in the comments below!
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Scott Hill is a former middle school educator and current poet with multiple self-published collections. He has a degree in English Literature and Psychology from the University of Houston and resides nearby where he can be seen tending to plants at his job, snuggling with his dog on the sofa, or spending time with loved ones. He enjoys whiskey and wine nights and loves writing about other poets, personal life experiences, mental health, food, and sometimes Taylor Swift. Feel free to follow him on Instagram @scotthillpoetry!