This is something I feel very strongly about, so bear with me if I go off on a bit of a tangent. The bottom line is that faking hurts everyone and not only physically (pleasurably??). I don’t really believe in having secrets in relationships because I believe things are much more fulfilling if you are true to yourself. Also, I don’t have a lot of boundaries so take that for what you will. I know a lot of people who have never had an orgasm and I honestly just feel sad deep down in my heart for them. Like, I get that it is enjoyable regardless, however, if you don’t know yourself how can anyone get to know you? Here’s why lying only makes things worse.
Clearly, you two are connecting on a physical level, but if you are not connecting emotionally then it is strictly carnal instincts and that could happen with anyone. Intimacy is about being vulnerable. It is hard to open up and show sides of yourself that you don’t want everyone to see. If you are still hiding in the confines of your own privacy when you’re with him then you need to either address it by looking inside yourself or contemplate whether the relationship you are in is one you feel safe in. Everyone has insecurities, and I’m not saying that if you’re insecure you can’t find security in a relationship, however, you can’t be faking things with your partner if you care about them.
I guess this ties into the emotional aspect as well to a certain extent. Mom, Dad, Great Uncle Joe, if you’re reading this I’d stop here. Actually, I hope you didn’t get this far regardless, but I digress. Consider yourself warned. Anyway, I think that it is a travesty when people fake orgasms BECAUSE you are perpetuating the cycle of men thinking they’re gods and can do no wrong and can always satisfy you whilst flicking and poking and what not. You are teaching/reinforcing bad manners! And now your mess is one I have to clean up. Now I have to be the one to break the news to them that they aren’t a “golden god” as Dennis would say, and I don’t know how many more egos I can blow before I start feeling bad. Remember when I said it hurts everyone? I meant it. It’s like you’re spreading an infectious disease to the rest of us who have the balls to tell him it isn’t doing it for us. Still wondering why lying only makes things worse? I hope not.
The lesson we’re learning here today is that nobody wins when you fake, virtually anything, but specifically orgasms. Cosmo even had to start a stop faking it month for god’s sake. This isn’t 1925 anymore, women can have opinions now, wheeeee!
Let us know your opinion on why lying only makes things worse in the comments below!
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Young "professional," Providence College grad, above average procrastinator, reality tv enthusiast, high profile contributing member of society.