Sex – It’s complicated, especially as a college freshman. Everybody urges you to have those “slutty college years” to really understand what you want, and what you don’t want. You already feel super awkward as a new student, but then you add in the idea of sex. College can be very different from high school, and very confusing and this is especially true when it comes to sex. So, to help you out, here are ten truths about sex in college.
1. Hookups are more common.
While not every school looks like Animal House, there is more casual sex happening at college than in high school. Most of it is a result of the close proximity everyone has with one another, either in the dorms or Greek houses. And, when you mix closeness with horny college kids under the influence of whatever substance, hookups are bound to happen.
2. The term “hooking up” will still be confusing.
When people hear the term “hook up,” there can be many interpretations. For some, it means you kissed a total random person while dancing against the kitchen cabinet, maybe you’re developing a little “friends-with-benefits” situation, and some use “hooking-up” to refer to full on sex. You will most likely have a different definition than other people.
3. People are more open and comfortable about sex.
When people hook up, it’s definitely still gossiped about, but less than in high school. College students have much more important things to worry about. It almost becomes a norm when you hear about someone hooking up with someone else. Like, ok cool, what else is going on? Students typically feel more comfortable with talking about their sexuality and make conversations more open and accepting with sex.
4. You will probably hear it happening.
The dorm room walls are literally paper thin. Be prepared to blast your headphones to block out the moans and grunts, and possibly leave your room. And, oh yeah, those awkward encounters when you walk by your neighbor the next morning on the way to the bathroom. You’ll look at them with the “I know what/who you did last night” look.
5. There are free or cheap resources available.
There is a Condom Club at my school. I’m not joking. They are always in the quad handing out condoms and information about practicing safe sex. Your RA will also have access to plenty of resources, and there are places near or on campus where you can go and get free or reduced birth control and STD exams. They are there for you, so go ahead and take advantage of them!
6. It will cause fights.
I know plenty of students who became very annoyed with their roommate because they were getting sexiled all the time. It’s never fun when you’ve had a long day and all you want to do is curl into bed and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy. But, you can’t because you just got a text that says “Can I please have the room for a bit. I’ll text you when we’re out.” If either you or your roommate uses the room for sex, make sure to communicate and be considerate. This can help avoid many conflicts in the future. Speaking of communication….
7. Communication is key.
Whether you are with your long-term significant other or someone you met that night, let them know what you are and are not comfortable with. You can say no whenever you feel uncomfortable, and respect when your partner asks to stop. No means no, point blank.
8. Not everyone is doing it.
If you are a virgin or have only had one partner, you are not alone. Not everyone has crazy hook up stories, or needs their fingers and toes to count how many times they’ve gotten it in. You are fine in however far you choose to go with your sex life in college.
9. Sexual assault is more common at college.
This is a sensitive subject for many, but the truth is approximately 1 in 4 females will be sexually assaulted during college. If this happens to you or your friend, know that there are resources on campus, and it is never the victim’s fault. Support others that have experienced this and take care of yourself as well. Be aware of your surroundings and speak up if you have information others may be holding back.
10. Finally, every college has different cultures and pressures.
Not every college is the same in sex culture. Some schools may be heavy on being in a relationship, while others have a student body that seems to be having limitless amounts of casual sex. You may feel social pressure to stay single, or get into a relationship right away depending on who your friends are and the school you go to. Be prepared for all of it and do whatever YOU feel comfortable with.