During my sophomore year of college I decided that I was so over the hook up scene. It was a lot of fun freshman year, but it got old fast. I had never been in a serious relationship, but I knew that I was ready for it. Like most college students, I looked to dating apps to start exploring my options. Never did I think I would be sitting here saying “I dated a porn star”.
It took about 10 failed Tinder and Bumble dates until I met Greg*. The guys I had met before were really immature and were clearly only looking for girls who wanted to keep things purely physical. But, Greg was so much different.
He went to the college a town over from me, so we were only about 15 minutes away from each other on the train. This made going on dates really easy and we had a lot of options in the area. Our first date was at a really cute coffee shop in the middle of the afternoon, which I knew was a good sign. We had the perfect chemistry.
We dated for around 3 months before we sealed the deal and made ourselves official. Greg was like no other guy I had ever had sex with. It was truly the best sex I had ever had and it felt like he was really a professional (little did I know, he was). It definitely made our relationship really passionate and it was everything I was looking for.
The summer before Junior year was when we started getting really serious. That’s when I started noticing that Greg was going away, a lot. Around June, Greg went on 3 trips to NYC and LA. He told me they were “freelance opportunities” and I didn’t really think much of them. That was until it was August and he had gone “away” every week for the entire summer.
Me and my best friends from home were the ultimate online investigators when it came to looking people up online. So, I looked to them to help me figure out where my boyfriend actually was. I assumed he was cheating on me, but I needed to know for sure. We searched his name to see if there was truly any work where he was and NONE of the places he told me he worked for existed. I was shocked. I had been in relationship with a person who had been lying to me over and over. But, what we found next was the most shocking.
There was my boyfriend, in a threesome with two pretty women.
My boyfriend was a porn star.
I wanted to throw up, scream, cry, and laugh all at the same time.
I left my friend’s house and called him immediately to meet me at my house. He was there waiting for me when I got there. He knew that I had figured out where he had been going for the last 9 months of our relationship.
I let him tell his story and he told me had been working in the porn industry since he graduated from high school. He didn’t look at it as cheating because this was an acting job for him to make money to pay for his student loans. I believed him and after a week or so of letting it settle in, I decided to try and make the relationship work.
But, I couldn’t help but think of him having sex for money with other women and it eventually tore our relationship apart after 3 or so months.
I don’t regret being with Greg for one minute. I had so much fun with him and it was amazing to feel such passion for a person (and have some crazy good sex). Maybe if he had told me from the beginning things would have worked out, but who knows. My only advice to anyone in the same situation is to be open and honest!
*Names have been changed
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