If you clicked on this article expecting to find a foolproof answer on how to get your Friend with Benefits to fall for you, I have some bad news. The truth is, every FWB relationship is different because one or more participants is usually going to fall pretty hard while the other will be stubborn in not wanting a partner. Am I wrong? I firmly believe that friends with benefits never works but, that doesn’t mean I haven’t willingly jumped into non-commitial sex before. If you are going to agree to a FWB relationship, you’re going to need to get your head on straight about how you feel about the person first. That’s not to say your feelings can’t change over time but, they most likely will not drastically go from being friends to the love of your life overnight. At least this way you can remind yourself they we’re just your pal a few weeks ago when you started to obsess over their lack of texts. Even though I cannot give you definite solutions to make your friend with benefits fall in love with you, I can share with you the tips I’ve found that will sure up your chances at wedding your way into their heart forever. Just be sure to remember that at the end of the day, if you’re meant to end up together, you will.
Prioritize You First
When you go into a FWB, the key is to at least seem as low maintenance as possible. It can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of talking to a new person that you quickly focus on texting them all the time or planning to see them but the truth is, they will be endlessly more attracted to you if you focus on yourself first. Showing your partner that you aren’t going to get too attached is a great way to keep them around longer, as well. If you actively work on focusing on yourself and letting your FWB be a fun thing to do when you’re bored, you’ll help keep yourself from getting too attached too. You know that feeling when something ends with a partner and you’re so lost as to how you did anything without them? Well, we’re trying to help you avoid that feeling for now, or at least until after they fall in love with you. The harder you work at maintaining your same daily routine and keeping the strength in all your platonic relationships, the more balanced you’ll be and the less likely you’ll be to fall head over heels too fast. Remember, the goal here is to get them to fall, too.
Show Interest In Their Lives
A lot of people can start to feel attached to a person after having sex with them because of how intimate the experience is. That being said, there are also a lot of people who cannot grow attached to someone without genuinely knowing them on a deeper level such as their wants, needs, and passions. It’s easy in a FWB relationship to just focus on the physical relations and maybe not open yourself up to getting to know the other person at all. In order to connect more with them and heighten their desire to be with you, you have to let them get to know you and you have to know them. Ask them details about their life and show a genuine interest. Over time, they will get attached and invested in your relationship which will open them to fall in love with who you are.
Find Confidence In Intimate Moments With Them
After seeing the same person for a while, you get comfortable with them in a way you aren’t with a fling. The more confidence you can find within yourself over time, the more special they’ll feel. Trust me, finding confidence within yourself because of the comfort you feel with them will not go unnoticed. Men like feeling like a girls safe space to land so when you begin to show them just how comfortable and in turn, confident they make you, they’ll feel infinitely more connected to you.
Show Them You Make Them Better
When you’re in a FWB position, you have the opportunity to treat your person like a partner which involves brutal honesty when need be. Truth is, sometimes men can be stupid (not sexist, just true), as his FWB you are in a position where you can call him out on his BS with no issues. After all, you’re just his friend, right? The more you call him on his shit, the more aware of it he will be, and he will think of you when he stops it from happening. These are the moments he will remember how much better you make him in every way. A man I used to see had a short temper sometimes and when he’d lash out, I’d call him out for being ridiculous (not all the time just when he was being ridiculous) and he used to tell me that when I wasn’t around and he’d get upset he’d picture me calling him out for it and chill himself out. Most guys love to be challenged. If you show that you’re not afraid to say it when you have to, he will respect you and enjoy being around you.
As I said from the start, there is no foolproof way to make anyone fall for you but, being yourself will get you pretty damn close. The last and possibly most important tip I can give you about your FWB, is to just try and let go of your weight in the outcome. The more natural and free flowing you let this love become, the smoother it will go. Trust me, entering a FWB with the desire from the start for more, will never end well. Just go be you, love with all your heart, and the person you’re meant to be with will find you.
Jenna Summer is twenty-something spending her days exploring New York City and chasing her dreams. As a recent graduate from The American Musical & Dramatic Academy, Jenna has been spending her time in the city itching to perform. She has performed Stand Up Comedy at many comedy clubs around the city as well as performing in sketch shows and cabarets with Upright Citizens Brigade and Others. During her time in school, she also fell in love with writing. Her goal is to be able to use her voice to inspire, entertain, and make people laugh.