It might feel like there’s never an appropriate time to bring up sex when you first start dating a new guy. Whether it’s about you not being ready, or wondering if he is, it’s important to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to sex. So, if you’re seeing a new guy and aren’t quite sure how to bring up sex, we’ve come up with a few pointers to help you out.
Just be upfront about it
People often shy away from talking about sex with their partner as it can make them feel insecure and they don’t want to be perceived as being overly sexually focused. However sex is an important part of many relationships and whether you do, or don’t, want to do it it’s important to have the discussion.
One of the best ways to bring up sex is to just be upfront about it, however awkward it might initially feel. Wait until a moment that you’re both alone and relaxed and then say that you’d like to have a chat about your sex life. Remember that even if you’ve slept together before you made it official, that doesn’t mean that you automatically have to sleep together right away. It’s ok if you’d rather take it slower this time.
Wait for an intimate moment
An easy way to bring up sex is at a time when you’re already being intimate with your boyfriend. Whether you’re making out on the sofa or coming home from a party, it might feel less forced to bring up sex when you’re already making out. This gives you the opportunity to say that you’d like to take things further or keep in purely PG rated for the time being.
Make a date out of it
It’s important to pick a time to bring up sex when you’re both relaxed and engaged. You could set aside some alone time with your boyfriend and plan a romantic dinner to talk about your sex life.
Just be sure to make it clear that it’s just a casual chat and nothing bad. You don’t want to have your boyfriend fearing the dreaded, ‘it’s just not working’ speech.
Let him know what you do (and don’t) like during sex
The start of a relationship is the best time to define what you do and don’t like during sex. Whether you’ve already slept together or you’re planning to, you want to make sure that both you and your boyfriend are satisfied.
Talking about sexual preferences can make you both feel a little awkward so pick your moments tactfully. For example, you might not want to bring up sex right after sleeping together. Instead, why not wait until you have a quiet evening and then say something along the lines of, ‘I loved it when you did so and so the other day’ or ‘do you think we could try this next time?’
Ask him questions
It’s important that you are both getting what you want in the bedroom so be sure to ask your boyfriend about any sexual preferences that he might have. Not discussing your sex can make you both feel a little insecure so be sure to still bring up sex from time to time, even after you’ve both started sleeping together.
Dating a new guy is an exciting and fun time but don’t shy away from talking about the ins and outs of your relationship. It’s important that you are able to be open and honest with each other and the start of a new relationship really is the best time to define what you both want from each other.