When you are tempted to do heated things during an argument, there are many things that you should avoid doing during an argument. Both aspects are important to consider and adhere to when finding positive, productive solutions to arguments and relationship problems. Here are some heated things to avoid doing during an argument to help keep things positive and productive in your relationship.
One of the top things you should always avoid doing during an argument or heated debate is to walk away. This physical response immediately and effectively shuts down any dialogue, discussion, and resolution. Staying in the moment is important to efficiently respond to and resolve the issue or issues promptly. You should similarly avoid taking time away from the argument as best as possible.
When you take time away from an argument or walk away from it for a period, it only serves to prolong the argument and its resolution. Stay talking through and keeping the focus on the sources of your argument and work through your issues more effectively. As you stay present and focused on the issues physically and emotionally, make sure you are also being productive and positive in your conduct so you don’t tempt negative emotions and behaviors such as walking away to join the discussion.
As you are staying present and effectively working through your argument, it is just as important to maintain civility. Talking bad about the other person is important to avoid doing during an argument. The tone and language of your discussion goes a huge way in keeping the discussion productive. When you dive into negative emotions and responses, you are simply prolonging the resolution. The resolution should always be the focus. Listen to your partner and similarly express your issues. Make sure everyone is keeping tones and language positive, and simply focus on the resolution.
When going into an argument, the resolution should always be the focus. Respectfully express your side of the argument and truly listen to the other person’s side. Take in all the perspectives and with focus on the resolution, work together calmly to determine the effective solution or solutions to the problem at hand. Consider both persons’ perspectives on not just the argument but the potential resolution. Come to conclusions and work to find a middle ground solution that both agree is a good fit.
Maintaining your emotional levels toward the positive and productive throughout the argument is another key to successful arguments and conclusions. Successful argumentation stays positive in language. Using foul and offensive language is important to avoid doing during an argument. Do not speak about the argument or toward your partner negatively. Do not succumb to name-calling or any negative physical behavior. Work toward a calm, middle-ground form of behavior and conduct.
It is equally important to manage positive behavior as negative behavior. Do not cross your arms or take a physically aggressive stance toward the other person. Keep a neutral to positive expression. While the easiest things to do during an argument are to lean into negative, aggressive behaviors and conduct, the most worthwhile skill to have toward your relationships is to maintain your emotions. Encourage and display productive conduct and both you and the other person will have an easier, more positive, and productive discussion and quicker solution.
Unproductive conduct means anything from physical language and behaviors to simply not being productive in your physical and verbal conduct. While there are heated things to avoid doing during an argument, there are similar things needed to be done or worked toward in individual arguments. Keep your body and verbal language neutral to positive. Keep the dialogue simple and open. Maintain focus on the different sides of the argument and always work toward maintaining focus on the key points of the argument as well as the potential solutions.
When you veer into other discussions or lose focus on the key points of the argument, you prolong the solutions as well as actually invite unproductive or even negative conduct into your argument. Focusing on the distinct issues of the argument and their resolution will help keep the argument focused and its solution in the near future. No one wants those arguments that seem to go on forever, always bringing in new or unnecessary information and details that keep the argument in play instead of the solution search.
In keeping the solution of your argument in the present mind and working toward it with focus, another heated thing to avoid is having a closed mindset. This is a negative response. While not always overtly negative, a closed mindset constitutes unproductive conduct. Maintain openness toward the other person’s perspectives, accounts, and ideas about the argument and solution.
Middle ground entertains both parties’ perspectives and should be valued and always worked toward. While it can be tempting to stick to only your side of things, both people in an argument want to be heard and considered. That means each party has to work to really hear and consider the other. Keeping a closed mind is something you should avoid doing during an argument.
Responses should always be kept positive and productive. Another thing to avoid doing during an argument is responding with a negative comment or disrespectful conduct. When in an argument and in seeking its solution, you have to work toward keeping your pride out of it. Don’t lean into prideful perspectives or conduct, effectively shutting out the other person’s perspectives and ideas. You have to maintain openness to being wrong or to admitting fault in an argument and in coming to a resolution.
Many arguments will come with one or more apologies and you have to be open to making an apology. When each party is open to being wrong and apologizing for any wrongdoing, or having hurt the other person’s feelings, they are keeping both perspectives in value and putting the solution first instead of their own pride. Pride, a lack of openness, and unwillingness to be wrong and apologize should always be avoided.