Knowing that there are signs you’re in love with the wrong person is crucial to understanding your emotional side. Love should feel simple and easy, not a fight to the death. Here are the signs you need to look out for if you’re not sure how to feel!
1. You begin to adopt unhealthy lifestyle habits
If you’re someone who spends a lot of time doing what you love; working out, self-care, being with friends, you may catch yourself losing grip on those habits. If you’re losing sight of what means a lot to you purely because of your significant other, you’ll neglect who you are and what you love simply because of your significant other.
2. You develop that on-again-off-again relationship
When you’re constantly breaking up and getting back together it’s never a sign of love. Sometimes we confuse what we want for what we have. We tend to think we won’t be able to find better and convince ourselves that we would rather go through these 15 or more breakups a year than lose someone who struggles to fight for us. We continuously say that we’re done with them until they come back with a forced apology and a bouquet of roses that we confuse for love. The signs you’re in love are right in front of you, don’t hold out for someone that won’t make the relationship with you work.
3. You’re determined to make it work
While you’re convincing yourself that this relationship will work solely because of the fact that you love them, you’re actually trying to convince yourself you love them. You jump through hoops to keep them in your life doing whatever you can to please them and make them happy. If you’re working harder in your relationship than in your daily responsibilities you should be asking for a salary.
4. You neglect your family and friends
It’s never a good sign when your significant other doesn’t get along well with those that have sculpted who you are, but it’s even worse when you neglect them because you’ve made a choice between the two. If your ‘loved one’ is busy convincing you that your family and friends are the ones trying to keep you apart then they have their own interest in mind instead of your own.
5. You’ve confused being in love with having a crush
This usually happens in the honeymoon phase of a relationship where everything is so perfect you feel like it’s the perfect way to explain how you feel. You’ve created this world in your head where your significant other is nothing but as perfect as when you met them. This crush distracts you from seeing the bigger picture so you tell yourself the feeling you have is love.
6. There’s sex with no intimacy
When you’re in love and the sparks are flying, they should also follow you to the bedroom. While it’s nice to have a connection physically, it’s also important to understand that there’s an emotional aspect too. The signs you’re in love are easily portrayed through the intimacy you share. When there are no feelings involved it becomes purely physical, taking away what you might perceive to be love.
7. When you have to overthink what you say to them
If you find yourself at times having to hold back what you should say to your significant other then it’s important to understand that you’re definitely not in love with them. When you’re worrying about how what you say will affect them or if it will offend them, they’re not the one. This leads to keeping things bottled up and never being able to talk to them about your concerns or problems. Being in love is about being able to share what’s on your mind without bothering them.
8. You’re stuck thinking about who they’ll be vs who they are
If you ever catch yourself fantasizing about who they’ll be in the future or who they could be instead of who they are now, they’re not the one you’re in love with. If you’re mentally changing who they are, you don’t love everything about them.
9. You’re having doubts
This is constant in most relationships. You think you’re in love with them until you begin contemplating leaving them. You catch yourself thinking about the single life and what your life would be like without them, but you keep convincing yourself that you’re wrong.
10. The fights are constant – or not at all
When you’re in a relationship there’s a reasonable amount of fighting and arguing deemed healthy. If you’re constantly fighting or not fighting at all, that’s a reason for concern. If you find that your relationship is built around fights that’s what they live off of. Your relationship to them is one big fight, but they keep you around for entertainment. If you’re not fighting at all then I’m sure you think everything is perfect. Well, I hate to tell you that it’s not. Not being able to resolve anything is a big issue too. When either one of you keeps apologizing to avoid a fight, you’re ignoring the issues hoping they’ll just disappear.
11. Your values aren’t the same – you don’t want the same things
When you’re with someone who doesn’t have the same values as you, they most likely never will. For example, you could have religion be the main scope of your world and if they just don’t care for it or convince you that it’s a waste of time, how can you really believe you love this person? Someone that hinders you from your values and beliefs, someone that wants to change you, and you may even want to change yourself to be with them, but it’s not worth it.
12. You’re only thinking about the now
It’s great to be in a relationship where you feel special and wanted, but will you still feel that way in a month or two? A year from now? When you have kids? Will they want kids? What future do they want? Are you in their future plans? These are all questions that will eventually loom through your mind. The more you put off answering them, the more time you’ll waste if your answers aren’t the same. Thinking about a future with your significant other is just as important as thinking about the now.
13. Family and friends tell you they’re not the one for you
A big red flag for you to notice is when family and friends alert you that your significant other isn’t the one for you. It’s one thing to disregard your friends who may not always know what’s best for you, but to completely ignore those who have looked out for you since you were born then they’re only trying to help you.
14. They aren’t supportive of your goals because they’re worried it will affect them
When the one you love isn’t supportive of what you want in life because they’re worried it will end up affecting them, they’re only thinking of what’s best for them. In the future they envision, it’s all about them. Do you really want a future that’s decided by who you love and to not be about what you love? Make your future about your dreams, goals, and hopes, not about someone dictating how you live and what you do.
15. You’ve mistaken loving them for being in love with them
A very common one for people to misplace. While people think there’s no difference between the two, they aren’t all that similar. Loving someone is caring for them and respecting them. Caring about them in the sense that you never want anything bad to happen to them and always being there for them. When you’re in love all of your feelings are invested in that one person. You have no doubts and you think about what the future will be like for the two of you. When you’re in love you want to spend the rest of your life with the person they are now, not the person you envision them to be.