Dear step father, it’s hard to express how I feel about you being in prison, and leaving us behind. I don’t think you tried hard enough to be a dad, but I still love you. You’re far away now, and there’s some things I want you to know.
1. You Were Selfish
To my step father,
You were selfish. You didn’t stop to think that your actions would directly affect your family. You probably won’t expect me to say this because I’ve always tried to be the neutral party. But, why did you do this to your family?
As an adult, I’m quite familiar with the procedures that go into visiting you in prison. Do you find that sad? I’ve endured many years of visitations, and different jails. After awhile, I’ve become numb to the sadness I feel when I see you, and yet I haven’t seen you in over five years.
2. You Didn’t Watch My Sisters Grow Up
My youngest sister has very few memories with you. She’s ten now, and she doesn’t really know you. It hurts me to know that she might not remember you when you’re gone. Your second oldest daughter resents you. I have tried to reason with her and tell her you’re a good person, but it’s too late. She’s sixteen now, you left when she was nine.
I think your middle child is rebellious because of what you did. I don’t think she still quite understands. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
3. I Couldn’t Really Be A Kid
You were always a great step father to me. But, when you left I had to step in and help mom. She’s the best woman, and I wish you could’ve seen that. We really could’ve used your help. Even when you were here, you weren’t.
Fun nights with friends meant sleepovers at the house to help mom with the girls. I had to grow up fast and I thank you for that. Losing my childhood meant my sisters could have one. It’s made me the woman I am today.
4. Father-Daughter Dances Never Happened With You
The girls were hurt knowing they didn’t have a dad to bring for father-daughter dances. I’m thankful for my uncle and grandpa who stepped in to be there with them. It was hard when our uncle couldn’t make it. I remember the hurt my sister felt when we broke that news to her.
All I see when I think back to that day is the tears that rolled down her cheeks, and onto her shirt.
5. What I Want You To Know
There’s so much I want you to know. I still love you, but I’m still so hurt because you left us. You don’t seem to care that you’ve left. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten an apology from you. When you send me letters I can’t open them for weeks, and sometimes I don’t read them.
I’m hurt and confused. It’s not too late to apologize. I forgive you, but I won’t forget how you abandoned us. I will always try and be there for you, though you weren’t there for us.