Weird Vagina Things That Are Actually Very Normal

If you have a vagina, then you’ve probably googled answers for if your “weird vagina thing” is actually normal. News flash: yes, it’s absolutely 100% normal. It’s so normal that it’s been certified and notarized by the vagina gods themselves. Seriously though, having a vagina comes with a level of pressure that deep sea divers probably haven’t experienced. You can take a deep breath of relief though – those weird vagina things you weren’t so sure about? Yeah, they’re normal and I so wish someone had looped me in on this earlier.

Labia Issues

If the only time you’ve ever seen a vagina that isn’t yours is when you’re watching porn, then you’ve probably felt self-conscious about yours. Doctors report that a major concern for women is their labia minora – they often think that it’s too “long” or one side appears different than the other. PSA to anyone with a vagina: Stop comparing yourself to porn stars. Sure, they all seem to have a labia minora that’s “small” and “equal” (if you didn’t roll your eyes at the use of those adjectives, I’d be surprised) but I mean, one it’s their job and two, surgery exists and maybe that’s how they obtained that look, who knows.

What I do know is that everyone needs to relax. Labia minora come in all sizes; most are typically within the one-two inch margin but if it’s longer don’t sweat it – that’s also normal. The only time for concern is it’s too long that it creates discomfort performing regular activities such as swimming, riding a bike, or even sex.

I’d Like To Report A Leak

Often equated with weird vagina things is discharge, even though it’s actually the sign of a healthy vagina. If your panties (sorry, do people still get all weird when they hear that word?) have ever been “stained” and you’re embarrassed, don’t be. The pH in vaginas is supposed to be more on the acidic side, it’s to keep bacteria at bay, and this may be the reason behind your bleached panties. You may notice that throughout your cycle the consistency of discharge changes. No, this is not a symptom of weird vagina things. It’s – wait for it – normal.

The only time to be cautious and seek out a professional opinion is if you’re noticing something different than regular. This could be discharge that seems to have a cottage-cheese like consistency (this could potentially be a yeast infection) or if you notice a fish-like odor which can signal something more serious like an STD.

You Mean It Doesn’t Smell Like Roses?

Okay seriously, I’m tired of this one. Vaginas smell like *drum roll please*… vaginas. Shocking, I know. What’s with the assumption that they’re supposed to smell like fucking roses or something that’s sugar and spice and everything nice? Again, as long as your vagina doesn’t smell like something’s rotting, how it smells is not a “weird vagina thing” you need to concern yourself with.

Tip: There’s no need for douching or cleaning excessively, especially with scented products. This could disturb the pH and then you’ll probably have a legitimate weird vagina thing to worry about on your hands. Vaginas are self-cleaning, so let them do their thing!

You + Me +…Lube?

There’s some sort of assumption going around that if you need lube when you’re having sex, then you’re not doing it right. I’d like to personally talk to (and by talk I mean punch in the face) whoever came up with that ridiculous notion. Lube can be useful in many circumstances. For starters, some people like the extra slippery feeling. Some may use it because they’re just having a quickie and their body didn’t have time to prep its natural lubrication. Sometimes even after foreplay and even when you’re mind is more than ready for sex, your body isn’t exactly on the same page.

Your vagina isn’t any less normal for not producing its natural lubrication, it’s fine. It’s also fine to turn to lube if that’s the case. Let’s all band together to end lube shaming once and for all because… why’s it even a thing to being with?

Periods Suck… Period.

Isn’t it enough that we’re tortured monthly with the pains of having a period that we now have to worry about every little thing that we see coming out of our vagina? If you notice any clots in your period blood and it freaks you out, don’t worry. It’s normal for some clots to occur but if you’re noticing things that aren’t in tune with what you’re used to, there’s never any harm in getting it checked out. Better to be safe than sorry!