In an age of casual sex and dating apps, it seems that society is leaning towards sex-positivity. Not everything is open-mindedness and liberation though, as issues such as sexually transmitted designs are surrounded by stigma and judgment. Recent studies by Public Health England show under 25 year olds remain most likely to get an STI. And yet, it’s not something you would share with your family, friends, and let alone your partner. If you are dating someone you really care about, it’s crucial to let them know if you have an STD. It’s something you really don’t want to do, but you have to as you want them to be healthy and you want to establish trust in your relationship. There’s no easy way to go on about it, but here’s how to tell your partner you have an STD.
Before starting the whole talk, you need to get tested. Paying a visit to your doctor will let you know what kind of STD you have, all the details about it and, of course, the available treatment.
Do Your Research
Educate yourself! Maybe you think you already know all the basics of your STD, but this is never enough and knowledge is incredibly valuable, especially when it comes to explaining to your partners what you have and how you plan on keeping them safe. Doing a throughout research also makes everything seem less scary and can help you make peace with yourself if you are feeling guilty or ashamed.
Do It Face To Face
A call or text won’t do. You might think you are sparing yourself from some major embarrassment, but communicating this in person is vital. You are trusting your partner with personal information after all, which means you care for them and trust them enough. It feels much more personal, respectful and it demonstrates your commitment.
Stay calm and collected
You don’t want to be a drama queen, you don’t want to scare them off either. So, keep your cool, be as clear as possible and they will likely follow your lead.
Communicate All The Details
Don’t omit anything. If the STD is something like gonorrhea or chlamydia, the talk will be easier since the infections can be cured with available treatment. If you have something permanent or with longer-lasting implications like HIV or herpes, the conversation can be more difficult but not impossible. You want to keep your partner safe, so you should absolutely not omit any details. If you think it will make this easier, have the conversation in front of a third party, like a doctor, to keep things factual and neutral.
Don’t Be Defensive Or Apologetic
Remember to keep things straightforward. Health is the focus of the talk, and you want to approach the conversation from a medical place. You can be angry at the person who gave you this or you might feel the need to apologise to your partner, but remember that anger is not going to solve anything and you don’t need to ask forgiveness for something beyond your control. When it comes to how to tell your partner you have an STD, it doesn’t have to be unbearable.
The conversation might seem something scary and a daunting thing to do, but it’s definitely necessary, especially if you really care about that person. By choosing to tell them, you decide your partner is the right person for you, and, the talk can be an experience to enhance the bond and improve the communication and trust between you.