It’s no small secret that college can be a stressful time and place. Dorm life, making it to classes on time, homework, group projects, and a cornucopia of other assignments and expectations can make college life the epitome of stress and frustration. For many, the light at the end of the tunnel of academic monotony is the potential for a vibrant social life, aided by dorm parties, fraternities/ sororities, and other forms of social interaction. But then there are those of us who find no solace in these social opportunities, perhaps even dread such interactions.
Social anxiety is a tough battle to be fought in the college world, where we are constantly surrounded by people in our classes, the dining hall, and even in our own rooms! Here are 10 tips to help overcome social anxiety in college, for those students to defeat some of the worst of their troubles and hopefully find some semblance of peace and security even in the populated realm of the college campus.
Take the time to settle into your space. Make sure that your dorm room is a place where you can feel relaxed and can unwind after a stressful day of classes. If possible, set up your space with comfy sheets, pillows, scented candles, or perhaps particular items–such as a favored book or memento– that help you feel at home.
I know, this isn’t easy. It in fact sounds like the complete opposite of what many people with social anxiety have any interest in doing. All I can say is that it will be worth it. Whether in a dorm or in a house sharing situation, it would be ideal to be on good terms with the people you share your space with. If there is a vibe of mutual respect and even friendship in the space, you’ll both feel more comfortable with setting boundaries and rules that will make you all more comfortable. This way, you can truly relax when you come home after a long day and can comfortably enjoy your space during those long study days at home.
Granted, the library can also be crawling with people, but, as many introverts could tell you, it is still a safe place, perhaps the safest of social spaces in the known world. This is due in part to the fact that you are not required to interact with people, and social interactions within are sometimes even admonished. If you’re the type of person who can’t concentrate on their work too near the glorious comfort of their beds for risk of taking a nap, or if you simply enjoy people watching without actual interaction or seeming particularly weird, the library is the place for you. Study, relax, people watch, learn something new from the pages of a book, and enjoy the silence.
Social anxiety has many causes and symptoms, but it is safe to say that anxiety often comes from feeling like an outsider, or being unable to relate on some mental, emotional, or social level to others. After your general education credits, you are free to choose a major that suits you. Are you a lover of books and the written word? Are you fascinated by the way cells create complex life forms? Do you love the sight of the stars and want to know their secrets? Does your heart flutter at the thought of lost cities and the evolution of humanity’s cultures? In college, you are almost guaranteed to meet others who feel similarly to you, and it is in the classes assigned to your major that you will meet them!
Again, this might seem counter-intuitive, but finding people with similar interests is never a bad thing. As it is with finding your major, becoming a part of a club that speaks to you will inevitably draw you towards others with similar passions. Unlike classes, clubs are optional, which often means that people who are there are truly interested in the subject of the club. If you are looking for an introverted and welcoming group of individuals to share time with, this author suggests finding your university’s English club, where you are more than likely to find relaxed conversation and more often than not, snacks and a good time.
College is not the end of the road, it is just the beginning, and it is a wonderful resource for making possible life-long professional connections that are likely to help you out down the road. Instead of worrying about the social expectations of your peers, try to make social connections with your professors. Ask about internships, TA work, or other steps that you can take as a student to solidify yourself in your field of interest ahead of the pack. More often than not, university professors are highly respected members in their field and will be more than willing to help you take those first steps to being a fellow member of the professional world. Of course, this can still be a difficult task for those who suffer from social anxiety, but perhaps one can be soothed with the knowledge that these are meaningful interactions that will lead to better opportunities in the future.
Perhaps some with social anxiety would balk at the very mention of such a thing, but hear this out. Studying abroad can be scary and completely out of one’s comfort zone, but it is worth it! When you go off on your own, possibly to a place where you know no one and everything is new, you do a lot of learning, about the culture of course, but also about yourself. You learn new ways of interacting and thinking, and you learn so much about how strong and unique you are, and you can gain a whole new perspective on yourself through the lens of a new world. Before choosing a location, be sure to take the time to get a basic understanding of it’s culture– the language, food, and general way of life. Choose somewhere that speaks to you– be it the architecture of Rome or the green hillsides of Ireland– and just go! With options ranging anywhere between one semester, a year, or sometimes even a couple of weeks, it is worth going on an adventure to learn something completely new about another place and about yourself.
This is obvious, but sometimes we all need a reminder. There is nothing weird or wrong with being alone or preferring your own company to that of others. So enjoy yourself. If you’ve been invited to that party and you really just don’t want to go, then don’t. If your roommate asked if you wanted to spend lunch hour together and you’re not feeling it, get a rain-check. If you’re buried under mounds of work, take a moment to lie back and listen to a favorite song or take a nice bath, and just enjoy being alone. In a world telling you that you need to do this or do that, just take the time for yourself to remember that your worth doesn’t depend upon your grades or if your peers invite you to every get-together or not. So though it can be easier said than done, take some time for yourself, go on an adventure or take a nap, and enjoy being you.
If the idea of social obligations is eating away at you, remember why you’re in college in the first place: to learn! With the likes of group assignments and certain extracurricular activities, it can be hard to stay focused. Take time and pleasure in choosing your classes, or take a look at the university’s catalog to see what classes you may be able to take in the future. Map out a two-four year plan for your studies, and most of all…
Don’t forget that college is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things. College may be a stressful place, both academically and socially, but you won’t be there forever, and its true purpose is to imbue you with the knowledge and dedication to move forward in your life goals! Granted, social anxiety may not disappear after college, but hopefully by the end of it all you will at least know that you can make it through!
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