Sex is a wonderful, brilliant thing, but having sex in your childhood bedroom? Not so great. For a lucky few you only had to endure this once or twice, when yourself and your significant other come to visit your parent, but for others (myself included!) this was a pretty common thing until you managed to move out! Having sex in your old bedroom can be pretty uncomfortable, and it’s hard to fully have your head in the game. Here’s 10 of the random thoughts you have whilst having sex in your childhood bedroom.
1. “Shit, is someone waking up?”
This is normally followed by some shushing and lying as still as possible until the coast is clear.
2. “Is that the cat?”
It’s likely that your pet will wander in at some point, and it’s even more likely that they’ll sit staring you out. Pets are weirdly voyeuristic.
3. “Why is this bed so damn noisy?”
Old beds = a lot of creaking. It’s hard to be quiet when your rickety bed frame is trying to rat you out.
4. “I feel like my teddy bear is judging me.”
Sorry Snowy, you’re too pure to haver to witness this.
5. “This just feels…wrong”
It feels pretty sinful to be having sex in your childhood bedroom, especially with your parent in the same house. It’s kinda dirty, but not the good kind of dirty.
6. “Are we being loud?”
Every little noise seems to be like 10 times louder when you’re trying to be quiet!
7. “I think they’re asleep… can we just go for it?”
It’s tempting to just go at it like normal if everything’s quiet, but thats a pretty risky game to play!
8. “Shit, did I just moan?”
Sometimes you can get a little too into it, and it’s hard to stay quiet all the time!
9. “The bed head is banging against the wall!”
This is even worse when your wall is directly attached to your parents bedroom!
10. “And now, the walk of shame.”
Walking to the bathrooms afterwards to clean up is pretty embarrassing, especially because you have to get dressed and ‘things’ will get on your clothes.