“You will get an STD and die“. When you’re 16, you most likely learn about sex from watching movies (like Mean Girls) or reading articles with crazy sex positions that seem almost impossible for a person to get into. The sex ed classes never actually teach us about the important parts of having sex and we avoid having painful talks with adults who are actually having sex. For those of us who learned on our own, or those who are looking for guidance, these are the 20 things we all wish we were taught about sex in high school.
1. There is a big chance your first time won’t be magical.
From what we see in movies and on tv, it seems like the first time will be this magical, fireworks kind of moment. It is exciting, but there may be a lot of awkward moments which are completely normal. No one is ever perfect at something the first time and if you remember that it will make it a lot better!
2. Not all sex is the same.
Just because you have amazing sex with one person or on one occasion, doesn’t mean it will be the same exact way the next time. Don’t overthink your experience. Instead, go in open minded and ready to have fun.
3. Your virginity isn’t a mystical being.
In high school, virginity tends to be taught as something powerful that women should not lose. Young women are usually slut shamed for losing their virginity, which shouldn’t be a thing at all. Virginity is simply just a word used to prevent young women from having sex and it is made out to be a lot more than it is. No one should be ashamed to be sexual if that is their choice!
4. There are condoms for both men and women.
A female condom? How? It actually goes internally in the vagina and looks like two rings with a bag attached. It is non-latex, so it is perfect for people with latex allergies! Because it goes inside the vagina, some women find it more pleasurable than male condoms.
5. How to actually put a condom on.
Just like putting the condom over the banana in tv shows and movies right? Well, other than seeing that, most of us will not come into contact with a condom until the first time we have sex; what good does that do when you have no idea what to do?
6. Things tend to get messy.
There are a lot of bodily fluids being passed between you and your partner and chances are, things are going to get a little messy. That is completely normal and a pretty good sign.
7. Stimulating your clitoris is the best way to have an orgasm.
This is one of the biggest lessons that should be taught in high school. Women and men are not taught about the female anatomy, which doesn’t help when having sex.
8. Men orgasm a lot quicker than women.
It takes a lot more work to make women orgasm than it does for men, which is so important to know when having sex. It isn’t fair if you aren’t getting an equal opportunity for an orgasm as your partner, so being aware of that can make things a lot more pleasurable for the both of you!
9. Sex is meant to be a fun and pleasurable experience.
As simple as it sounds, we are taught in high school that being sexual is something we should not do for a bunch of reasons. Once you experience it, you learn that sex is something that is meant to feel good and that you can have fun doing.
10. Masturbating is a great way to learn about your body and what you like.
Oh, masturbating. In high school, masturbation is a taboo subject and bringing pleasure to yourself is a no, no; which is some serious bs. Masturbating is an amazing way to learn about your body and what makes you feel good.
11. Foreplay is something you and your partner need to know about.
Foreplay is really important for having great sex. It is the best way to get each other warmed up and makes things really intimate.
12. There are multiple forms of sex.
Sex isn’t all about penis-vagina penetration. There is oral, fingering, hand jobs, and so on. If you and your partner are the same sex, that opens the doors for even more types of sex that you can have.
13. Lube isn’t anything to be embarrassed about.
Don’t be ashamed if you need lube to get things going in sex. It is a totally common and normal thing to use lube.
14. The sex you see in movies is not how it is in reality.
Your favorite rom-com, steamy sex scene on tv, or the porn you secretly watch, are all the opposite of reality. Do not use these as an example of how you go into your experience or what your expectations are. You will be disappointed.
15. Sex takes practice.
Just like anything in life, sex takes practice. It is a learning experience and will only getting better the more you do it.
16. You do not have to have sex until you are fully ready, no matter what age you are.
Sex is different for each and every person. Some people are ready at a young age, some wait until a lot later in life, and some wait until they find the right person. No matter what, the choice is yours and you should never feel pressure!
17. STIs and STDs are very real and can be prevented.
STDs and STIs should not be taken lightly because they are so easy to contract. But, there is a slim chance that you will die as long as you are keeping yourself protected. Always get yourself checked regularly if you are sexually active and don’t be afraid to ask your partner if they’ve been tested!
18. Sex takes effort from everyone involved.
You should be giving just as much as you are taking. When you start taking too much or not giving enough, things can get frustrating or even boring for both of you.
19. You should most definitely pee after sex.
Save yourself from the dreaded UTI or Yeast infection because these can turn into more serious conditions if they go untreated. And UTIs really suck.
20. Consent is always necessary, even in a relationship.
We talk about consent in high school, but not about consent in a relationship. So often, couples in relationships are taken advantage of because they feel like they no longer need that consent. Always speak up if you aren’t into it and ask if your partner is!
Do you have any other things you wish you were taught about sex in high school!? Share in the comments below!
This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own!
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