It doesn’t matter what part of the country you are from, it will shape you and you’ll carry those traits with you wherever you go. If you are from middle America you especially know this to be true. These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
1. Ranch obsession
Ranch isn’t good on everything, right? Stop, don’t answer, that was a rhetorical question. Of course ranch is good on literally anything it gets oozed on. Growing up in the Midwest has taught you one of the most important valuable lessons that life can offer: adding ranch can turn any and all mediocre foods into a delectable dish.
2. Pop! (Say it louder for the soda heads in the back)
Beverages like Coke, Sprite and Root Beer all have what in them? Bubbles, and what do bubbles do? That’s right, they pop! Therefore any carbonated beverage (excluding the alcoholic ones) should be referred to as pop. None of this soda nonsense. These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
3. People who drive pick-up trucks drive like maniacs
People drive pick-up trucks all around the country. In the midwest, though, the drivers have a knack for constantly tailgating you and making you feel as if you and inconveniencing them because your car isn’t as high off the ground as theirs is. It doesn’t matter if you are going 15 over the speed limit, these rage filled vehicular operators are always in some kind of a hurry.
4. Fall isn’t just a season for you, it’s a full-blown lifestyle.
The midwest, unlike other parts of the country, usually has all four seasons in their full glory. This means that come fall, the trees become a wonderful blend of reds and yellows and pumpkins become as abundant as the blades of grass that cover lawns. Your childhood fall time memories consist of going to a pumpkin patch with a warm apple cider in hand while you find the perfect orange gourd to butcher a face onto. When fall comes around, even to this day, you make sure that you change your lifestyle to make fall your happiest time of the year.
Some stereotypes are rooted in truth, and the midwest politeness is one of them. Whenever you make eye contact with a random person, you just give them a slight smile and go on your way. Someone is tailing close behind you as you enter through a door, you hold open the door. Even if these strangers are annoying and make you want to scream, you internalize that anger and still present that polite demeanor because you don’t know any other way.
6. All the states are similar, but you’ll always claim yours is the best
What do all midwestern states have? Cornfields, lakes, flat land, small towns with funny names, etc. Even with the similarities, though, you’ll always claim that your state is by far the best one. The pride for your home state runs deep and you’ll fight anyone from Ohio that insists the Buckeye State is the place to be (unless you are from Ohio that is.) These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
7. You jammed out to a local screamo band that ceased to exist years ago
Midwest emo music still has a small following today, but nothing compared to what it was back in 2007. If you were a tween in the Midwest anywhere from 2006-2010, especially in Michigan and Ohio, you probably religiously listened to some Chiodos, I See Stars and Hawthorne Heights. These bands either no longer exist or you outgrew them years ago, regardless your midwestern heart will always have a special place for them. These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
8. Big Ten football or die
Much like the south as the SEC, the midwest has the Big Ten conference and the legendary football rivalries that come with it. Michigan and Ohio State, Minnesota and Iowa, Michigan and Michigan State, and so forth. It didn’t matter if your family even attended this schools, every Saturday you donned the colors of your team and wished nothing but pain and suffering for the opposition. These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
9. You prefer lakes over oceans any day
There many reasons why lakes could be considered better than oceans (looking at you “the possibility of being eaten by sharks”), but if you are from the midwest lakes are special to you because of the over abundance of them in your home state. If you didn’t have a boat to go tubing during the summer, you had three friends that did. Every midwesterner, whether you owned a boat or not, has that special lake that embodies a whole childhood rather than just a hole in the ground filled with fresh water. These are some of the signs that you are from the Midwest!
“Ope! I’m just going to scoot right past ya there.” The true test of any born and bred midwestern folk whether they utter this involuntary response when they have to squeeze past another person in a small space. The origin of this? No one knows, but even before it dominated the meme-world you said it and you will continue to say it because it is whole you are dammit.